Changed
by Jackson Hanning
Summary: Lizzy took a deep breath and tried to memorize this moment. The feel of Gilbert's favorite jacket against her fingertips, the smell of his cologne, the warmth of his body pressed against hers. She was kicking herself now more than ever over her own broken promise. She'd promised herself that she'd never fall in love with anyone. And now she'd gone and fallen in love with Gilbert.
1. Prologue: Leaving

She opened the door to find him standing there. She smiled. "Gilbert. What are you-"

"I'm leaving, Liz."

She blinked. The smile dropped from her face. "What?"

"I have to get out of here, Lizzy. I can't stay here forever. I have to see what's out there."

"So just like that? You're leaving? I suppose you're about to tell me your bus leaves this afternoon."

"No. My train leaves in an hour."

Liz blinked, feeling as though the wind had been knocked out of her. "An hour?"

"Yeah."

"When will you be back?"

"I don't know. I might not come back." Gilbert took a step forward, closer to the glaring brunette in front of him. "You should come with me, Lizzy."

"What? Gil..."

"Don't jump to any conclusions, Liz. You're my best friend. You're the one I'm gonna miss. You and West are the only things that'll possibly pull me back to this forsaken town."

"Gilbert... I can't."

"Why not? Give me one good reason why not!"

"My father."

All emotion left Gilbert's face. How could he have forgotten?

"I can't leave him, Gil. Not like this. I couldn't live with myself if I up and left and he was gone when I came back." Lizzy shook her head. "I can't go."

"I understand," Gilbert said. "I'm sorry."

"Gilbert, don't go."

"I have to."

"What about-"

"Last night?" Gilbert shook his head. "What about it?"

"What... what was it?"

"What do you think it was? Aside from the obvious." Gilbert's crimson hued eyes bore into Lizzy's green ones. "Did you feel anything?"

Lizzy couldn't answer that. The truth would reveal her only secret. A lie would break the trust she and Gilbert had built up over the long years. "I... I don't-"

"Then it was nothing," Gilbert broke in. "Just forget it. I've gotta go, Lizzy. I guess this is goodbye."

Lizzy closed the distance between them and hugged her best friend. Her only friend. Whatever happened between them, he would always be that. She felt his arms wrap around her in return. "You'd better come back, Gil. At least once."

"Is that a threat?"

"It's a request."

"Anything for my Lizzy."

Lizzy took a deep breath and tried to memorize this moment. The feel of Gilbert's favorite jacket against her fingertips, the smell of his cologne, the warmth of his body pressed against hers. She was kicking herself now more than ever over her own broken promise. She'd promised herself that she'd never fall in love with anyone. And now she'd gone and fallen in love with Gilbert.

* * *

_And I'd give up forever to touch you_  
_'Cuz I know that you feel me somehow_  
_You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be_  
_And I don't want to go home right now_

_And all I can taste is this moment_  
_And all I can breathe is your life_  
_Cuz sooner or later it's over_  
_I just don't want to miss you tonight_

_And I don't want the world to see me_  
_Cuz I don't think that they'd understand_  
_When everything's made to be broken_  
_I just want you to know who I am_  
_-_  
_Iris by Goo Goo Dolls_

* * *

**_Hey hey hey guys! Exciting stuff here! I must say, I am totally loving this project. I should let my feminine side tell me what to do more often. And by 'feminine side' I mean my sister. And by 'more often' I mean that she already tells me what to do every day of my life, so I just need to pretend it's my idea. So._**

**_Review our story, please oh please!_**

**_Until next chapter!_**

_**-Jack**_


	2. Chapter One: Everything Is Different Now

"Elizaveta, _please_. Stop."

Tears well up in my eyes, but I still my hand. The words are not unkind, but neither are they compassionate or understanding. They are Roderich's words. They convey no such emotions. There is no love in his eyes. Not for me. His only love is his music, and I pale in comparison. "Yes, Roderich."

He sighs and takes the napkin from me, dabbing at his own shirt. The stain from the tea I so clumsily spilt on him spreads across his torso, and I am fairly certain it is ruined. "Let me go wash it out," I say. "It will never come out otherwise."

Roderich glances to the table. My food is half eaten, but I have no appetite anyway. I tell him as much. "Fine then," he says. "Give me a moment."

He leaves the room to change out of his shirt. I look down at my hands and fight my tears. He won't even take his shirt off in front of me. My own husband. It is the truest testimony to our relationship.

It has all been arranged, of course. I'd never have chosen Roderich for myself. His parents decided to make up our minds for us; to marry us to each other without any prior consent from Roderich or myself. I was told on my eighteenth birthday of the plan. That Christmas, he gave me a diamond ring. They day I turned nineteen, we were married. I am twenty-one now. Twenty-one, and nothing the woman I was a mere three years ago.

Roderich returns in a fresh shirt, bearing the soiled one in hand. I take it and hurry downstairs to the laundry room. As I scrub the shirt with clear water, I try to figure out who I am. I always knew. At least I used to. I was Elizaveta Hedervary; a headstrong girl with a free will, a best friend, and a smile on her face. But then the best friend left, and the free will was taken away. The smile disappeared with them.

What would Gilbert think of me now? The thought crosses my mind, unbidden. It is not an uncommon thought. I know the answer well. He would not recognize me, that is certain. Not as I am now. I am a housewife, essentially. I have lived with Roderich since a few weeks after our engagement. Not as a married couple, of course, not until the wedding. But I do the laundry, the dishes, and clean the house. I mend and fold and dust and sweep. It is a job I am expected to do, and have done for the last three years. I was told this from the first day. No matter what I wanted. I had a duty to fulfill. A husband to keep and care for.

The stain has disappeared from Roderich's shirt. I lay it out to dry. I will wash it with the rest of the clothes tomorrow. I brace myself against the sink and breathe deeply. How is it that this life should be mine? This burden, this duty, forced upon me without any consent of my own. I am a grown woman, after all. I shouldn't have to be forced into this life, this marriage, this routine in which I am but a maid in a household. A lover who is unloved.

I have been broken. Free will and spirit, which used to be mine, I now see only in others. I do not question authority. I do not question what is expected of me. I do not make my own decisions. I am nothing more than a possession to be owned; an object with no will of her own. It has all been stripped away. I am not who I used to be.

Not since Gilbert left.

In the evenings, we take to the sitting room. Roderich seats himself at the piano, and I sit nearby, mending or sewing or doing some other task requiring no real thought. Feliciano joins us as well; Roderich's orphaned cousin. The boy lives in Roderich's house, and is cared for. If not for him, I might not be here. There are many scenarios that would find Roderich's home void of my presence, but one reason as to why I remain is Feliciano.

The boy makes me smile. His joyful personality and perpetual wonder keep an ever bright smile on his face, despite being orphaned and separated from his only brother. I often wonder how he does it; stays so happy even living with Roderich. I know from experience that Roderich alone is not enough to make me smile. I only smile at Feliciano now.

"Miss Liza?" Feliciano's whisper brings me out of my thoughts. I glance toward Roderich. He sometimes gets very irritable if he can't focus on his music. However, he remains passive, his eyes closed, swaying slightly to the music. He looks so handsome when he's lost in his music. He is a handsome man. I don't love him.

"Yes, Feli?"

"Look!" The boy raises his sketchpad to reveal what he has been working on so diligently this evening. It is a beautiful drawing, of a little girl with flowers in her long, curly hair, dancing barefoot through a meadow. Feliciano has a tremendous bend for the arts.

"It is wonderful!" I tell him honestly, keeping my voice low so as not to distract Roderich. "So beautiful! What made you chose to draw this, Feliciano?"

"It's you!" he exclaims in a whisper.

"Me?" I am genuinely confused.

"Si! It is Miss Liza. The Miss Liza inside of you." Feliciano's amber eyes burn brightly into my very soul. "The one that no one gets to see, because she's hiding."

Stunned by Feliciano's words, I simply sit there, staring back at him in awe.

"I wish this Miss Liza would come out more," Feliciano continues, as if we were talking about the weather or something else so trivial. "I think she'd be very fun. And I think that you'd be happier if you were like this, instead of cooped up inside doing chores." He glances toward Roderich. "But I still love you, even like you are."

I reach out a hand to smooth Feliciano's soft brown hair. Am I so transparent that this eight year old boy can see straight into my soul? I think for the thousandth time that this child is good for my soul. "Thank you, Feliciano. I love you too."

"If you two are going to chatter through the entire evening, I would appreciate your finding some place else if you please."

I glance at Roderich. His long, graceful fingers still skim the keys with practiced ease, playing a soft melody that sounds familiar, but his violet eyes are locked on me and filled with disapproval.

"Ve, sorry Cousin Roderich," Feliciano apologizes, ducking his head.

"You may go to your room, Feliciano. Good night."

Feliciano nods obediently and rises from the carpet. "I'll come say goodnight in a little while," I tell him.

Feliciano gathers his sketchpad and his pencils and scampers up the stairs toward his bedroom. I look down at my sewing. It is a long moment before I realize Roderich has stopped playing. I look up to find his eyes on me. "What is the matter, Roderich?"  
"You shouldn't coddle the boy, Elizaveta. He'll never be a man if he always needs someone to read him a story and tuck him into bed like a child."

I blink, and from somewhere inside me, I feel a spark ignite. A spark I had long thought dead. "I'm sorry, Roderich," I say. "But last time I checked, eight years old is still a child."

Roderich's eyes widen in surprise. "You will never be a true lady until you can learn to hold your tongue and know your place. Don't you know it isn't proper to speak in such a tone to your husband?"

Something inside me snaps at his words. I should be used to the way Roderich treats me. He would never lay a hand on me, but his words sear me more than the hottest iron. They are sharper than the sharpest knife. He speaks to me not angry words and unkind tones, but he treats me as if I am some uncouth barbarian who is in constant need of reminding that she is out of her league. I don't need to be reminded.

"Yes, I suppose, Roderich, that I'll never be a lady. I never was until our betrothal, isn't that right? Your mother told me everything I had to learn, right from the start. 'Elizaveta, you must learn to refrain from back-talk. Elizaveta, you must learn how to keep your husband. Elizaveta, you must learn to control your temper!'

"You could have picked so many women, Roderich. So many! With more elegance, more refinement, more poise and grace and knowledge. You could have chosen another who didn't need to be trained in the art of being a housewife. One who already knew the proper way to serve each meal and juggle cooking and cleaning and washing and mending and folding. You should have known at the beginning I was unfit to be your wife."

"Elizaveta, you know our arrangement was arranged for a reason," Roderich says evenly. "You need this marriage."

I wish with all my heart that he was wrong, but it's true. And I hate it. Before my father died, he asked his best friend, Roderich's father, to take care of me when he was gone. The doctors tried everything, but it did not matter. My father died two weeks before my eighteenth birthday. The Edelsteins kept their word, of course, and took me in. They are good people. However, they had ulterior motives. The Hedervary name has ties to royal bloodlines. And everyone tells me I am beautiful. To them, it was utter logic that Roderich should marry someone like me. To Roderich, who does not believe in love, marriage is a practical undertaking. A mutually beneficial endeavor that should not be viewed as something to do for love or passion. They explained everything to me on the night I turned eighteen. And, since I depended completely upon them for survival, and I had nothing and no one else left in the world... Who was I argue?

Roderich's stare is hard and disapproving. It makes me feel like I have failed. In what, I do not know, because the look is the same no matter what the circumstances. "Good night, Elizaveta," Roderich says at length, effectively dismissing me and resuming his playing. And just like that, I resume my status of unimportance. The spark which I felt inside has faded once again, and I know the next time it will not be even this strong. It fades more with every lost battle.

I say nothing, but make my way up the stairs. I deposit my sewing in the basket in the loft and compose myself before going to Feliciano's room.

Feliciano sits on his bed, his back propped against the headboard of his bed, his legs stretched out in front of him, covered with quilts. A single lamp on his night stand swaths the room in a soft yellow light. He glances up from his sketchpad at my soft knock and his eyes light up with a smile. "Miss Liza?" he asks. "Will you sing for me tonight?"

He asks this of me sometimes. I don't often oblige. I do not like my voice, especially my singing voice. It is not strong or smooth or beautiful; least not when I compare it with Feliciano's sweet, melodic tones. Tonight, however I cannot deny him. Not with those enormous amber eyes staring up at me, pleading for a lullaby. Not after Roderich's words about Feliciano 'being a man'. He isn't a man. He is a child. And those child-like eyes smile up at me, waiting for reply.

I begin to sing. An old Hungarian lullaby my father used to sing to me. My family no longer has ties to the country, save in heritage. Despite being so far removed from it, traces of the country remain impressed upon me. Such as my name - Elizaveta Hedervary. And this lullaby, which long ago was sang to a girl on the night before her first day of school. A girl who would be headstrong and willful and who would try to beat up a boy on the playground when he declared that a girl couldn't possibly play tag with them. I remember this lullaby, my father's voice. I remember the words and the melody, and all save the translation. I sing it now for Feliciano.

After a few minutes, I fall silent. Feliciano's eyes are half-lidded with sleep as I tuck the blankets around him and move his sketchpad to the bedside table. It is open to the drawing of me, only Feliciano has colored it with his pencils. Perfect shading, crisp lines, vibrant colors. The drawing entrances me even more than before. It has come alive.

"Miss Liza?"

"Shh. Go to sleep, Feliciano."

"Wait, I want you to have it."

"What, Feli?"

"The picture. Of you. I drew it for you. I want you to have it, and maybe it will remind you to let the real Miss Liza come out more. The happy one. From the pictures."

Realization floods my mind. That is how he knew, I think. The box under my bed, the assortment of family pictures that I keep as a memory of what I used to be. It filled with pictures of my childhood. My father, Gilbert, me. There are a lot of pictures of Gilbert. It must be how Feli knew that the Liza I am now is not the Liza I have always been.

"Don't you like it?"

Feliciano's soft, uncertain voice breaks my thoughts. "No, no, I love it, Feliciano. I'm sorry. I was just thinking. Are you certain you don't want to keep it?"

"I'm sure," he says. "I want you to have it."

I delicately grasp the paper with one hand and use my other to smooth Feliciano's hair. How is it that he is only eight? He has the wisdom of an old man. I press a soft kiss to his forehead. "Thank you, Feliciano. Good night."

"Good night, Miss Liza," he says, closing his eyes and rolling over in his bed. I take another glance at the drawing in my hand and swallow the lump rising in my throat. Then I shut off the lamp and close the door as I exit.

* * *

_**Hey guys. It's you know who...! FISHSTICK BOY! :D So what do you guys think so far? Please review! Pretty, pretty please with some tomatoes on top? Maybe some pasta if it's a really good review? I'll even share a fishstick if you want. Just review. Please.**_

_**So, this is chapter one. The first person perspective is a little new to me. Especially since it's a female perspective. I guess girls are a little more complex than I thought? I dunno. I just write what the little female reading over my shoulder tells me. I've gotta get her to start writing these...**_

_**YES! REVIEW! OKAY, TALLY-HO! BANGERS AND MASH, FISH AND CHIPS AND ALL THAT. Yeah. Just admit it, you read that in an English accent. I typed it in one. But I'm really ADD today. So I'm just gonna go now...**_

_**(please review.)**_

_**-Jack**_


	3. Chapter Two: A Walk In The Park

Feliciano taps his spoon against the edge of his bowl, chewing happily, his feet swinging beneath the table. I hide a smile and stir my own steaming cereal as I add more milk. Feliciano suddenly raises his arm, punctuating the air with his spoon. "Miss Liza!"

"Yes?" I ask, before raising a spoonful of oatmeal to my lips.

"We should go to the park today," Feliciano tells me, his amber eyes sparkling with delight.

"You have school today," I remind him gently. I feel one corner of my mouth lifting up.

"After school!" he exclaims. "And we should take Ludwig!"

The smile drops from my face and I quickly stick another spoonful of oatmeal in my mouth so Feliciano doesn't notice. Ludwig. Ludwig Beilschmidt. He's a nice boy, rather quiet and formal, but kind toward Feliciano, despite being two years ahead of him. I wish I could like him more. I used to. Now when I look at him, I just see his brother: Gilbert Beilschmidt.

My stomach turns at the thought of Gilbert. I stab my spoon into my oatmeal and try to listen as Feliciano explains his plan of fitting a visit to the park in among the rest of his schedule. His head is filled with ideas of taking the long way home from school, while mine is filled with memories of a tall, pale-haired young man with a glint in his eye and confidence in his step. Feliciano thinks of his best friend: the stoic blond Ludwig Beilschmidt. I think of my best friend: the handsome, carefree albino named Gilbert, who on one day, when we were both barely twelve years old, introduced me to his baby brother "West".

"So whaddaya say, Miss Liza? Can we _please_?"

I glance up at the little boy, who stares at me with anxious, pleading eyes. "I suppose we can take the path through the park today," I say. "As long as you behave yourself in school today, and work extra hard on your homework tonight."

"Ve~! I promise, Miss Liza! I promise I'll be extra, extra good!"

My smile reappears. "I believe you. Now eat your breakfast or you'll be late for school."

Feliciano makes the last of his oatmeal into one enormous mouthful and deposits his dishes in the sink before running upstairs to get his backpack. My appetite gone, I scrape the rest of my breakfast into the trash and put my bowl beside Feliciano's. My appetite has been gone for days. I don't know what's wrong with me.

Being Feliciano's caretaker is not part of the duty I was expected to do when I came to live in Roderich's home. He had hired a nanny to care for Feliciano in the four months since the child had been deposited in his care. However, when I moved in and discovered the completely boring lifestyle I was expected to assume, I found my entertainment in Feliciano. When the nanny left but a month before my wedding, I offered to take the position on myself. Roderich was skeptical, but since I was so adamant about it, he relented. Since then, I walk Feliciano to and from school, assist him with his homework, make sure he brushes his teeth, and tuck him into bed. He's such a precious child that it's no trouble. And it gives me something to think about other than the despondency of my relationship with Roderich.

Feliciano appears, trotting down the steps, his red backpack in place on his shoulders. "Ve~ Ready Miss Liza!"

"Me too," I say. I stride toward the front door and brush my hand through his hair as I open the front door. "Let's go."

* * *

_Would you shine a little bit brighter_

_Climb a little bit higher_

_Tell me would you shine for me_

_Would you hope a little bit longer_

_Sing a little bit louder_

_Tell me would you shine for me_

_If one day you're awake to see _

_The colors fade from the trees_

_I hope you find a brush _

_Paint a road back to me_

_And if one day you're afraid to fly_

_Among the weak and helpless cries_

_I hope you take a stand _

_To defend what is right_

_Would you shine a little bit brighter_

_Climb a little bit higher_

_Tell me would you shine for me_

_Would you hope a little bit longer_

_Sing a little bit louder_

_Tell me would you shine for me_

_Shine for Me by Camera Can't Lie_

* * *

"Ve~! Miss Liza! Look!"

"What a pretty flower, Feliciano!" I say to the little boy as he runs up to me, a crimson-colored blossom in his hand. "What are you going to do with it? Press it in a book?"

He shakes his head, auburn hair flying in all directions. "No way! That will kill it."

"You picked it, Feli," I point out, trying to be gentle. "It's going to die anyway."

"I know," Feliciano says. "But I don't want it to die all flat and crinkly." He beckons me to his level with his index finger. I bend down, expecting a whisper in my ear. It doesn't come, however. Feliciano's hands come up to my hair, and in a deft movement he has twisted the flower stem into my hair. I raise a hand to touch it, being careful not to squash it. Feliciano smiles at me. "You look so pretty with flowers in your hair, Miss Liza. Just like in my picture! Doesn't she look extra pretty with it, Ludwig?"

The older boy shrugs, casting his blue-eyed gaze on me. "Yes, I guess so."

Feliciano laughs. "Oh Luddy! You're so funny! Come on!" Feli takes Ludwig by the wrist and pulls him along ahead, up the path through the park. I keep my pace steady, listening for Feliciano's sudden bursts of giggles, or the sound of his voice rising excitedly through the quiet park.

My head aches today. I woke up with it after about an hour's nap mid-morning. It hasn't subsided yet. Despite my headache, I kept my promise to Feliciano and took the long way home through the park. It has been worth it, to see his bright smile and hear the happy chatter he omits as he speaks with his friend. I take a deep breath and squint a little at the pain as the sunlight shines bright in my eyes. "Miss Liza, Miss Liza!" Feliciano shouts. "Miss Liza, come _quick_!"

Feliciano's shout doubles my pace. I round the bend, expecting an accident - a scrape, a bruise, a skinned knee. Instead, I see Feliciano and Ludwig standing huddled in the path, looking at something just below their eye level. I frown and push my sleeves up as I walk. "What's wrong, Feliciano?" I call out as I come nearer.

Feliciano spins and I see a grin on his face. "Ve~, Luddy got a surprise today, Miss Liza!"

"What?" I say. "A surprise? What kind of-"

I stop dead in my tracks. My mind races to take in the scene in front of me. Ludwig stands in the path, half facing me. Feliciano bounces, clapping his hands in delight, looking from Ludwig to the man. And the man, crouched in the path, looking up at the boys with a smile on his face. That man. I know that man. And he knows me. I can tell, because when his eyes find me, they go wide. The smile drops from his face, turning to amazement. He stands slowly, staring at me almost in disbelief. I know this man.

"It's Luddy's big brother Gilbert, Miss Liza!" I hear Feliciano's shout break through my muddled thoughts. "He's back!"

I stand frozen, locked in Gilbert's gaze, my head pounding, my mind racing. Then one corner of his mouth lifts, and the rich, familiar voice I once knew so very well spills out of him. "Hello Lizzy."

And the world goes black.

* * *

_**Hello everyone! I'm Autumn. My brother is making me write this author note thing, so if I mess up, it's his fault.**_

_**Chapter two... What do you think so far? Good? Bad? Boring? Review and let me know, would you? Constructive criticism is always welcome.**_

_**Um, that's really all I have to say. Jack is so much better at these than I am. Expect him and his fish stick obsession to return for the next chapter's author note. ;)**_

_**Thanks for reading, and Happy Thanksgiving! Please review! I will be eternally grateful if you do.**_

_**~Autumn**_

* * *

_**Ooh, quick note from Jack here. First three people to review this chapter will win a Oneshot. ^_^ If you win, I'll send you a PM asking for your character choice! Here's hoping this is a decent incentive... :P  
**_

_**-Jack  
**_


	4. Chapter Three: Old Memories, Same Man

_Seems like just yesterday  
You were a part of me  
I used to stand so tall  
I used to be so strong  
Your arms around me tight  
Everything felt so right  
Unbreakable  
Like nothing could go wrong_

_Now I can't breathe  
No I can't sleep  
I'm barely hanging on_

_Here I am once again  
I'm torn into pieces  
Can't deny it, can't pretend  
Just thought you were the one  
Broken up deep inside  
But you won't get to see the tears I cry  
Behind these hazel eyes_

_Behind These Hazel Eyes by Kelly Clarkson_

* * *

I wake to bright white. I hear voices above me, unclear and muddled. One is deep and one is high pitched. Another still is in between, calm and soothing. Finally, it is as if someone has switched the volume on and I can hear what they are saying.

"Lizzy! Liz, can you hear me?"

"Miss Liza, Miss Liza!"

"Feli, hush. Don't worry. Gilbert has it under control. Look, she's waking up. Feliciano, don't cry, she's fine. See?"

My eyes flutter open and I see three figures above me. My head still pounds; it has even increased. The pain concentrates in one place at the back of my head. I see Ludwig's blue eyes, glancing between me and Feliciano. Feliciano, who's worried amber eyes hold tears as he frantically searches my face. And I see Gilbert. It can't be a dream. He must be here.

"Lizzy? Are you okay? Can you move?"

"I- I think so." I move to sit up and prove it.

"Take it easy, Liz," Gilbert advises. I hear a hint of worry in his voice. It is something you don't hear in Gilbert's voice. I've only heard it once before this day. His red eyes hone in on me, filled with concern. "Don't push it."

I blink suddenly. Why is he looking at me like this? This isn't Gilbert. Not the Gilbert I know. He wouldn't worry about me. Not like this. I sit up, despite the dizziness I encounter when doing so. "I'm fine," I say. "I'm fine."

Skepticism paints Gilbert's face. Such a handsome face. Many people consider albino coloring freakish. Unnatural. Disgusting. Not Gilbert. Never Gilbert. He must be one of the most handsome men I've ever seen. He was always quite popular with the other girls in school. Gil never wanted for a date, an escort, a girlfriend. They practically threw themselves at him. I understood why. I still do. But I never did.

"Miss Liza!" Feliciano throws himself at me, wrapping his arms around my neck and burying his face in my shoulder with a sob. "Miss Liza, you scared me!"

"Shh," I say, hugging Feliciano tightly. "Shh, it's okay. It's all okay."

After he finally releases me, I tuck my feet under myself and move to stand. Gilbert's hand reaches down and I automatically take it. He lifts me to my feet and waits as I gain my balance. His hand is calloused and warm in mine, and it feels good. Just as quickly as I took it, I come to my senses and jerk it away. I don't want to. But when I saw my hand in his, something caught my eye. Reminded me of all that has changed since Gilbert went away. Sent a sharp reminder through my mind and through my heart and soul as to why I cannot have Gilbert. Why I could never have him, even if he wanted me.

My wedding ring.

I know he saw it too. A look crossed his face; one I could not identify. Surprise, probably. After an awkward silence, he clears his throat. "Well, Liz. Not quite the way I had anticipated meeting you again. After so long. Are you sure you can walk?"

"Quite sure," I say. My voice sounds odd. Unnaturally pitched and formal.

"I'd say you look good, but, uh, you actually look kind of pale and green. And you fainted, so..."

"I'm fine, Gilbert," I say. It's a lie, and both of us know it. I'm not going to tell him that, though.

"Let's walk then," Gilbert said. "West, why don't you take little Feli up ahead and pick some flowers to make Miss Liza feel better?" He winks at the boys. Feliciano casts a look at me, but seems reassured by something. He trots after Ludwig without hesitation. Once the boys are out of earshot, Gilbert begins to talk.

"So who's the lucky man, Liz?" he asks. "That's quite a rock you've got there."

For some reason, I don't want to tell him. I know he'll laugh. He won't believe me. He'll never believe me. But this is Gilbert. From Gilbert, I have exactly one secret. I could never keep any more. "Roderich Edelstein," I say softly, watching Gil's face for his reaction. As anticipated, he laughs.

"All right, you don't want to tell me? Fine. I just thought we were best friends and everything..."

"We were," I say sharply. "Before you left and didn't come back. Before I was who I am now."

"Like you've changed. Lizzy, you're set in stone." Gilbert rolls his eyes. "Come on. Three years? What could happen in three years? I don't think you're really even married. Not my Lizzy."

"I'm not your Lizzy," I say. "And I have changed. Three years is a long time, Gilbert. A long time. You know what can happen in three years?"

"What happened in three years that could possibly be so bad? I mean, you're wearing a dress. That never happened before. But name one more thing that's changed. You look the same to me."

I shake my head. "You don't understand, Gilbert."

"Make me."

"I can't."

"Try."

I look up at him. "I can't, Gilbert. If nothing of consequence happened to you in the last three years of your... God knows _what_... when nothing I say will convince you of the power held in three years time."

A firm hand grips my arm, bringing me to a stop. My eyes find Gilbert's and I see the serious look in those crimson stained irises. "You're really married? To Roddy Edelstein?"

All I can do is nod.

Gilbert releases my arm. "Do you love him?"

"This is not a conversation I am having with you, Gilbert."

"Does he love you?"

"Why does it matter wh-"

"Does he love you like I did?"

I freeze. What did he say?

"You can't tell me you've forgotten that night, Liz," Gilbert's voice goes lower, deeper. The sound tickles my spine. "You can't."

Oh. _That_ kind of love. A blush fills my cheeks. Gilbert never _loved_ me. We slept together. Once. The night before he left.

"You do remember," Gilbert says, a sly smile crossing his face, his voice lower than ever. My cheeks have betrayed me.

"Of course I remember, idiot. It was _my_ virginity we left in your bed that night." My voice is almost as low as Gilbert's. I do not want anyone to overhear. Especially not Feliciano and Ludwig, should they choose to appear.

"Is he as good as me?"

My jaw drops and I know my face must be completely crimson. "Oh my _god_, Gil! Is that all you can think about? He is my _husband_."

"Yeah, and he's been married to his piano since he was four. It's the only thing he loves. Of course, he'd have to be gay not to be attracted to you..."

"I am not talking about this with you, Gilbert Beilschmidt! And you don't need to keep following me."

"I'm walking you home."

"Why?"

"Uh, because you just passed out in the middle of the park?"

"I told you, I'm _fine_."

"Well at least our conversation got some blood back in your cheeks. I was beginning to think you were actually a ghost of my Lizzy, you were so pale."

I do not look at him. I keep walking, quickening my pace.

"Ey, West! Feli! Come on, boys, Lizzy's in a sudden rush to get home."

"Lizzy?" Feliciano giggles. "I never heard anyone call Miss Liza Lizzy before."

"You should try it, bud. It's quite fun."

I shoot Gilbert a withering look. He just grins back at me.

"Miss Liza?"

"What, Feliciano?"

I feel little fingers grasp my sleeve, slowing me down. As much as I want to get away from Gilbert right now, I cannot ignore Feliciano. He holds a bouquet of wildflowers up to me. Primroses and daisies and buttercups. It makes me smile. "For you, Miss Liza."

"Thank you Feliciano. It's getting late now. We need to hurry home."

Feliciano slips his hand in mine and trots along beside. Gilbert, despite my protests, follows us all the way home. I do not bid them goodbye before shutting the front door and sending Feliciano upstairs to change out of his school clothes.

Gilbert Beilschmidt. Finally back.

And he hasn't changed a bit.

* * *

_**There you have it. This week's installment. Next week we'll see if Autty lets me put in /my/ version of Chapter 4. It's from Gilbert's POV. :D TESTOSTERONE FTW.**_

_**Thanks for reading. Please review! I can't express how HAPPY it makes me when I get a new review. I check multiple times daily for new ones. Sometimes multiple times hourly, depending... **_

_**Go check out the poll on my profile! VOTE! What do the people want? UKUK? FrUK? MORE SPAMANO? You tell me!**_

_**Also on my profile, there is a list of all my other stories! CHECK THEM OUT BECAUSE I THINK THEY'RE FAIRLY BOSS. That's just my /humble/ opinion of course... There's also a LINK to my FACEBOOK PAGE! :D**_

_**See you next week for Chapter Four!**_

_**-Jack**_


	5. Chapter Four: The Turning Point

_I don't know when I lost my mind  
Maybe when I made you mine  
I don't know when I lost my mind  
Maybe it was every time  
You said, you said, you said_

_That I miss you more than I let on,  
I kissed you for far too long,  
I'll let go as soon as you do,  
See I know we're not through._

_I don't know when I lost my mind  
Maybe when I made you mine  
I don't know when I lost my mind  
Maybe it was every time  
You said, you said, you said  
That I miss you_

_Miss You - Ed Sheeran_

* * *

I run a hand through my hair, my mind still racing. My feet try to keep up with the speed of my thoughts as I pace back and forth across my bedroom. Gott, I hadn't expected that. A thousand scenarios had run through my mind of what it would be like when I finally saw Liz again. That one wasn't included.

But there was that moment. That split second when our eyes met. When I finally got to see that gorgeous green again. I'll admit, I'd forgotten her. Not her, but the degree to which she effects me. I'd forgotten the little things. Like just how green her eyes are. Or the way her curls bounce behind her with every step and every toss of her head. I'd forgotten the sound of her voice. I'd forgotten a lot of things. But they all came rushing back in that split second.

Then she fainted. I'll admit, that threw me. I mean, nothing fazes my Lizzy. Not even seeing my awesome face after such a long time would cause that reaction. Which is why I freaked a little bit. I know, I know... unawesome. But... it's Lizzy.

She wasn't out long, fortunately. I think the little Vargas kid freaked out even more than I did. Luckily West was able to placate him long enough to let Lizzy revive a little. The whole thing's a little confusing to me. I guess Lizzy's, like, Feli's nanny or something.

Despite the whole crazy situation, I saw Liz again. That counts for something. More than something. It counts for everything. I saw her long and talked to her just long enough to see. She _has_ changed, and I'm gonna have to figure her out all over again. But it's not like I ever had her wholly figured out in the first place. I mean, she's still a woman, and therefore a mystery of nature. Or just bat-shit-crazy.

It was good to see her again. Crazy, too, the things that ran through my mind as I walked home with West afterward. There's a lot of things I wish I could undo in my life. Leaving Liz was one of them. I don't know why I had to do it, and I don't know why I stayed away so long. How did I survive three years without seeing her? Talking to her? Why did I get stuck with the verdammt independent streak? I don't regret traveling. I regret being gone.

It's not just Liz, either. I'm practically a stranger to my own baby brother... even though he seems fairly glad to see me. And Granddad's as disapproving as ever. I'm pretty sure it's for West's sake that I'm even still in this house right now. I told gramps not to worry. I'll be gone as soon as possible. Not far, but not here. I can't stay in this house any longer than is absolutely necessary.

My racing thoughts jump back to Liz. The last time that I saw her. I see her in my mind's eye. As if a day hasn't passed since it happened. She answered the door, those long legs clad in blue jeans; the sleeves on her button-up shirt rolled up past her elbows.

* * *

"_Gilbert." Her voice is glad to see me. Like always. I'd been worried. The way she left this morning... I wasn't sure what she thought of me at the moment. "What are you-"_

"_I'm leaving, Liz." The words slip from my mouth before she can even finish her question. I can't take it. I'm already thinking about changing my mind... staying. But no. I decided this a long time ago. I have to get out of this town. I have to see the world. I have to see my birthplace. The place my mother talked about so often. Prussia. Though it's not Prussia anymore. It's just Germany. Still. It's a piece of me. And I have to know._

_Lizzy's face shows surprise. "What?"_

"_I have to get out of here, Lizzy," I say, trying to explain. "I can't stay here forever. I have to see what's out there." _No. I need to stay. Convince you to marry me. I lied. I'm not going anywhere.

_But I am weak._

"_So just like that? You're leaving?" Lizzy glares at me, crossing her arms against her chest. She knows I am a coward. As much as I pretend to be otherwise. "I suppose you're about to tell me your bus leaves this afternoon."_

"_No. My train leaves in an hour."_

_As much as it hurts to produce the words, it hurts worse when I see the look of pure shock on Lizzy's face. "An hour?" Her voice sounds like a little girl. The little girl I grew up with. Fought with. Fell in love with._

"_Yeah." Shame paints itself across my heart and my conscience. I look down._

"_When will you be back?"_

"_I don't know. I might not come back." It is a lie. If Lizzy's here, I'm coming back. I glance back up to her and take a step in her direction. "You should come with me, Lizzy." It's not enough, my request. I don't just want her to come with me. I want her to marry me. I want her to kiss me like she kissed me last night. I want her to be mine forever._

_Surprise crosses her face, replacing some of the anger she obviously harbors towards me. "What? Gil..."_

"_Don't jump to any conclusions, Liz," I say suddenly. I can't read the look on her face. Is she disgusted with me? Is she friend-zoning me? I can't have that. If I can't have her, I at least can't lose her. "You're my best friend. You're the one I'm gonna miss. You and West are the only things that'll possibly pull me back to this forsaken town."_

"_Gilbert," Lizzy whispers my name with an apology in her voice. "I can't."_

"_Why not?" I have to know. I need to know she's not just afraid. "Give me one good reason why not!"_

"_My father."_

_That's a damn good reason. I struggle to keep my face from falling, to keep myself from wrapping Lizzy in my arms and kissing her. In an effort to school my emotions, I work to keep my face blank._

_Lizzy hurries on, her own explanation in progress. It is unnecessary. I already know why she can't leave her father. His health has been failing for years. They're all each other has anymore. They're closer than close. Lizzy has dedicated herself to taking care of him. "I can't leave him, Gil. Not like this. I couldn't live with myself if I up and left and he was gone when I came back." Lizzy shakes her head, tears glistening in her emerald eyes. "I can't go."_

"_I understand," I tell her. "I'm sorry."_

"_Gilbert, don't go."_

"_I have to." Lies. All lies. I have to stay. Why am I leaving?_

"_What about-?" The look painted across Lizzy's face, added to the years I've spent growing up with her, tells me everything I need to know._

"_Last night?" I finish for her. I'm terrified of what she's thinking about it. In an act of complete cowardice, I shake my head and remain casual. "What about it?"_

"_What... what was it?" Lizzy looks at me as if she's desperately trying to comprehend the meaning of our acts last night. I want to take my cue from her... I can't lose her._

"_What do you think it was?" I ask her. "Aside from the obvious," I add. Knowing Liz, she would give me a sarcastic answer. I look her in the eye, hoping she can't read my emotions through them. "Did you feel anything?"_

_Lizzy hesitates. It solidifies my greatest fear. I moved too fast. Why do I do this to myself? I put all that patience into our relationship. What I did last night was something I've wanted to do with Liz since puberty. And I fucked it all up. No crass puns intended._

"_Then it was nothing," I say quickly. Nonchalance is my only hope of making it out of here with my friendship still intact. I've always been confident. Cocky. She's told me many times. I'm hoping I'm faking it right. "Just forget it. I've gotta go, Lizzy. I guess this is goodbye."_

_Lizzy steps forward and hugs me. I swallow hard and try to keep myself in check. She smells like soap and lavender. It smells so good. Her fingers curl into my back as she squeezes me tight. I let my arms come up and wrap around her, though not as tightly as hers are around me. _

"_You'd better come back, Gil." I hear Lizzy's voice, barely audible and muffled by the collar of my jacket. "At least once."_

"_Is that a threat?" I feel a smile. It sounds like my Lizzy. Tough and bossy and stubborn as hell._

"_It's a request," she tells me. And since I'm wrapped around her finger, there's only one thing to do._

"_Anything for my Lizzy," I promise her._

* * *

I might have cried on the train-ride to the coast, if my compartment-mate hadn't been there. Francis Bonnefoy. A two day trip in a shared train compartment with two other fellows made us pretty good friends. He, too, was headed to Europe, and since my plans weren't nailed down, he let me tag along with him. For that, I am still grateful. The best year of my life began there.

I collapse onto my bed, suddenly exhausted. Whether from the pacing or jet-lag or the emotions of the day... I don't know. Sleep comes quickly. I dream of Lizzy.

* * *

_Verdammt - Damn - German_  
_Gott - God - German_

* * *

_**Chapter four. A day early. MY CHAPTER. I HAVE MY WAY. MWUAHAHAHA!**_

_**Anyway. There'll probably be two or three chapters from Gil's POV, total. Just for the sake of tying this all together.**_

_**Hope you enjoyed. It's currently 1:39am, and I've just finished writing this chapter. I'm so beat. You can probably tell from my lack of words such as "Fishsticks" and other random tangents that have no real necessary value to anything.**_

_**Please review. :)**_

_**-Jack**_


	6. Chapter Five: Box of Memories

_**FOREWARNING:  
This chapter is a little longer than the others. That's to make up for NEXT chapter being kinda short. And I'm sorry this is late. I'll let you read it now. I'll talk at the bottom.**_

* * *

"Elizaveta. Is something wrong?"

Roderich's voice startles me out of my thoughts. He is up to his elbows in dishwater, and I am supposed to be drying. I realize I haven't been paying attention. And he noticed. Is it really that obvious? Roderich doesn't generally pick up on my emotions. That, or he simply doesn't care. "Why do you ask?" I hope my voice sounds casual.

"You've been rubbing that plate dry for far longer than necessary. It doesn't need to be polished." He hands me another wet plate.

I flush slightly. "Sorry."

"Also, Feliciano couldn't take his eyes off you at dinner. Though I believe the child is an odd sort, easily distracted and worried and such, he seemed particularly concerned about you tonight. Do you happen to know why?"

"No," I lie. I glance up and find Roderich's deep indigo eyes locked on me. I can't tell if he sees through my lie.

He breaks eye contact and resumes his washing. "You seem distracted, nonetheless. Perhaps you should retire early tonight."

"Maybe," I say. I turn and place the stack of dry plates in the cupboard.

"I hear that Gilbert Beilschmidt is back in town."

My mouth goes dry at Roderich's icy tone. He and Gilbert never got along. Roderich always hated Gil for some reason that I could never understand. "Oh? Where did you hear that?"

Roderich nods, his eyes on the bubbly sink in front of him. "I quite literally heard him from three street blocks away, yelling at his younger brother. Seems he hasn't changed in the slightest."

_You have no idea_, I think to myself.

* * *

_I remember when I sold my car to board that train_  
_You said you were sure that I would not come back again _  
_And now you see with your own eyes and start to realize _  
_I'm not the man I thought I was so try to sympathize _

_The way you think about your life _  
_Is gonna change, change tonight _  
_Don't even try out that frown _  
_'Cuz your man is back in town _

_I'm sure you've been thinkin' 'bout just where the hell I've been? _  
_Painted your own pictures of the trouble I got in _  
_There were times I will admit my heart saw better days _  
_But I'm the type that has to lose to find I had it made _

_No use talkin' too much about things we cannot change _  
_I know you think it's crazy but I'm here to set things straight _  
_I'm standing here to say that I'll give love a try _  
_It's my complicated way to say I'll simplify _

_The way you think about your life _  
_Is gonna change, change tonight _  
_Don't even try out that frown _  
_'Cuz your man is back in town_

_Back In Town by Matt Dusk_

* * *

"Miss Liza? Are you okay? You're very quiet tonight."

"I told you Feliciano," I say gently, running my hand over his soft hair as he sidles up next to me on the couch. "I'm just fine. Don't worry about me."

"Why did you faint?"

I don't have a response for that. But I don't want to worry him further. "I... I think I was surprised."

"By what?"

I swallow hard. Such a simple question, with a simple answer. But the answers could provoke more questions that have more complicated answers. I tell him anyway. "I haven't seen Mr. Gilbert in a very long time, and so I was surprised by him today."

"Oh," Feliciano said. His face softened somewhat. I breathed a little sigh of relief, thinking that my answer had lessened his worry. "You know Mr. Gilbert?"

I nod my head. "Yes, I do. We grew up together."

Feliciano looks surprised. "Really? I didn't know that."

"He's in some of my pictures," I tell him with a smile. "Didn't you recognize him?"

Feliciano shook his head. "I didn't think about it. He's so much bigger now."

"That tends to happen when people grow up, sweetie. I grew up from those pictures, too."

"I knew it was you, though. May I look at the pictures again now that I know it's Luddy's brother that's in them?"

I think about it for only a moment. "Yes, you may."

I stand and head toward the stairs. Feliciano follows at a hesitation. I don't think he expected to see them right now, but there's an hour until bedtime, and Roderich has banned us both from the living room while he practices tonight.

I get down on my knees and peer under my bed, lifting the hem of the blankets as I bend down. Feliciano mimics me and sticks his head under the bed as well. I reach for the solitary box hidden underneath and pull it toward me. I let the blankets fall back into the makeshift curtain around the bottom of my bedframe and brush the dust off the top of the shoebox. Already, a lump threatens in my throat. I swallow hard. I haven't even _opened_ the box. What am I crying for?

I fold my legs under me and sit the box on the floor right between Feliciano and I. He sits cross-legged, elbows resting on the knees of his blue pants as he leans forward. I pull the lid off the box and look inside.

Memories flash before my eyes as I glance over the contents of the box. I quickly reach in and grab the envelope full of pictures. I don't want all the memories of the box. Not now. I just want to show Feliciano my pictures.

I lift the loose flap of the envelope and remove the stack of pictures. I slide back and lean against my dresser. Feliciano moves closer, wrapping one hand around my arm and resting his chin on it for a better view.

I shuffle through the pictures, trying to find one with Gilbert in it. I sorted them into chronological order a long time ago, and I didn't meet Gil until I was eight. Feliciano stops me, though. Apparently he wants to see them all.

Several minutes into our browsing, a picture turns and reveals two children. A boy with a shock of white hair and crimson eyes, his mouth screwed into a cocky, self-confident grin; and a girl with long brown hair, looking determined and stubborn, eyebrows furrowed over her green eyes, hands planted on her hips.

Feliciano squeals softly. "Look! It's Mr. Gilbert!"

I nod and laugh softly at the picture. My father had been the one behind the camera. "He liked Gilbert from the beginning, probably just because of the reaction Gil elicited from me."

"Who?"

I don't realize that I said the words out loud until I hear Feliciano's question. "My father. He took that picture."

"Your father liked Mr. Gilbert?"

"Everyone liked Gilbert," I tell him. "Well... not everyone. But they either liked him or they hated him. It's just the way he was. Still is, probably."

The boy beside me giggles. "I like him."

"That's good."

"Do you hate him?"

"What?" I look at Feliciano in surprise.

Feliciano looks up at me. "Were you one of the ones who hated him?"

I shake my head. "No. No, Feliciano, I don't hate him." I give a single laugh. "Maybe at first I hated him. The first time I met him, I punched him in the face."

I hear a gasp. "Really?"

"Mm-hmm," I say, nodding my head. "He wasn't going to let me play with the boys. So I punched him in the jaw, and then he tackled me to the ground. He didn't hit me, though. Even if the teachers hadn't broken it up, he wouldn't have hit me. I know it."

"Hmm, so what happened after that? Did you become friends?"

I nod. "He was my best friend."

"Really?!" Feliciano's face lights up. "Mr. Gilbert was your best friend, just like Ludwig is mine?"

I nod, even though the comparison can't be fully accurate. The way I love Gilbert and the way Feliciano loves Ludwig are two very different types of love. I can't say that one is stronger... but they are not the same. Feliciano, however, is only ten. The comparison is close enough for the time being. "Just like that, Feli."

"Next picture!" Feliciano says, a grin on his face. I oblige and turn to the next photograph.

Now that we've gotten to the point in the photos in which Gil and I were friends, he isn't hard to find. Gilbert's grinning face graces nearly ever picture. Feliciano and I turn through every image, and by the end, I'm smiling.

"Ve, Miss Liza?"

"Yes, Feliciano?"

"Can... may I borrow one of the pictures of you and Gilbert?"

"Mister."

"May I borrow a picture of Mr. Gilbert?" he corrects. "Just for a while."

I nod. "Which one?"

Feliciano's careful fingers tick through the photos until he finds one. I ride on Gilbert's back across what was the front lawn of the house my father and I lived in. The trees around us are golden from the autumn, and the tone of the picture and the memory it evokes has always made me smile. It is one of my favorites. "This one?"

I hesitate for a moment. "All right. Please... don't lose it, though."

Feliciano smiles. "I won't. I'll give it back soon, I promise."

"Okay," I say, sliding the rest of the photos back into the envelope. "Go get in bed. I'll be there soon."

Feliciano scampers off, picture in hand. I replace the photos in the box and slide it back under my bed before I have time to get lost in the other memories. Then I brush the dust off my hands and my clothes and go to tuck Feliciano into bed.

* * *

_**Guys don't kill me. I know it's really late. I'm so sorry. No promises, because of my schedule, but the next chapter SHOULD still be up on Sunday. This is all Jack's editing work, so if I screwed up, WHATEVER. I think my beta just wanted the job because it meant she got to read the next chapter before anyone else. No betas for me anymore. Nope. Beta-less Jack. **_

_**Tonight I had fishsticks for dinner, so that's part of the reason why this is going up right now. BRAINPOWER. That, and I'm too excited for the midnight showing of The Hobbit tonight to focus on homework. :D  
**_

_**So you guys remember Lizzy fainting two chapters ago? Yeah? There's a reason for it. If you guys wanna speculate on the cause in the REVIEWS that you leave me, feel free! I won't spoil it, but if anyone guesses right, they get a shout-out in the chapter I reveal the answer in. It's... not next chapter but the following chapter. I think. Again, no promises because I'm braindead.**_

_**But good news! After next week, I'M ON CHRISTMAS BREAAAAAAAAAK! That means I can write. Watch, now I've jinxed it. Damn. I better get to write over Christmas break. I wanna FINISH this over Christmas break.**_

_**So, thanks for reading. Please review. I LOVE REVIEWERS.**_

_**-Jack**_


	7. Chapter Six: Big Black Frying Pan

**_This is where my sister left me to fend for myself._**  
**_If the story goes downhill from here, it's her fault.  
I'll talk at the bottom._**

* * *

_I cannot refuse your eyes  
____Please don't look at me tonight  
My heart beats fast I know you're there  
And I pretend like I don't care _

___It hurts so bad to know the truth  
But girl I am still in love with you  
It hurts too much to know the truth  
But girl I am still in love with you  
_

___No more kisses on your lips  
No tender touches please  
I'd rather die on my two feet  
Than live down on my knees  
_

___And all because you get me  
Opened up and start to believe  
And I just can't get over you  
Until you're over me  
~_  
Until You're O_ver Me by Maroon 5_**_  
_**

* * *

The next morning, after walking Feliciano to school under a drizzling gray sky, I start on my chores. My head begins to pound mid-morning, but I ignore it.

I am in the middle of cleaning the kitchen when I hear a loud thunk. I freeze What was that? I'm home alone. No one should be here. Roderich never arrives home a moment before six o'clock, and there's still several hours before I must pick Feliciano up from school. Who would be in the house?

I hear another thunk, and the faint sound of footsteps. I pick up my frying pan from the counter. It's the handiest blunt object, should I need to defend myself. I grip it with both hands and creep toward the hallway; the origin of the noise. I move through the house on quiet feet, listening as the sound of footsteps grows louder.

I swing myself into the hallway, frying pan outstretched.

Empty.

I frown, lowering my weapon. Was it my imagination?

A hand clamps onto my shoulder. I react with a yelp, nearly jumping out of my skin with a sudden terror, even as I swing my frying pan around to ward off my attacker.

The black utensil collides with it's unsuspecting target, and the man falls to the ground: dazed, but not unconscious. As my fear fades, I realize who it is.

"Gilbert!?"

Gilbert, lying on his back on the wooden floor, blinks his red eyes, a stunned expression on his face. He winces and presses a hand to his head. "Mein gott, Liz. You've still got a mean backswing."

"What the _fuck_, Gil?" I drop to my knees and pry his hand away from his injury, examining it myself even as I loose my angry words on him. "How did you get in my house?"

"The door was standing open, sheesh," he says. "Since it's not exactly tropical weather, I came in to see if you were okay. I wasn't really expecting to get bashed over the head with a kettle."

"It's a frying pan," I say, a laugh bubbling through the middle of my sentence. "You scared me to death, Gil. Come on, I'll get you some ice."

I pull Gilbert to his feet and let him steady himself. I bring him into the kitchen and sit him at the table while I collect some ice in a bag and wrap it in a towel. Then I move toward him and gently press it to the welt rising on the side of his forehead.

"So you really live here," Gil says faintly, taking the icepack into his own hand and holding it against his head with a wince. "I had to see it to believe it."

I roll my eyes. "I told you, Gilbert. I'm married to Roderich. I live in Roderich's house. I changed while you were gone, Gil. A lot."

"No way," Gil protests. I breathe a huffy sigh and cross to the other side of the kitchen to get a glass of water. Maybe it's dehydration causing my headaches. Or a certain albino man who seems dead-set on convincing me that I haven't changed when I know better than anyone just how much I have.

"You don't want to believe me? Fine. Don't."

"Come on, Liz, you can't _expect _me to believe this _scheiße_."

"It's true," I say. "I'm nothing like I was, Gilbert. Everything has changed for me."

Gilbert stands up from the table, letting the icepack fall and taking a step in my direction. I stay with my hips pressed against the counter-top. "I don't believe it," he tells me.

"Why not?"

"I can't. I can't just believe that the Lizzy I knew is somehow just gone. I won't believe it."

"Believe it, Gil."

Another step. "No."

"Gilbert! Stop making this so hard!"

"Why is it hard? Is it hard to keep lying to me? To keep pretending you're really this brainwashed_ maid_ in Roddy's house?"

"That's what I _am_ now, Gilbert! For the last three years, it's been pounded into my head! I can't change that, Gilbert, because when someone tells you repeatedly that you're not good enough - that you'll _never_ be good enough - you end up believing it!"

Another step. A hand comes out to smooth a strand of hair behind my ear. "It's all lies, Lizzy. Alles lügen. Every word."

"Not to them!" I choke on a sob and fall into Gilbert. My fingers clutch the soft fabric of his shirtsleeves and I bury my face in his strong chest. I remember a day when Gilbert's hugs were the thing that kept me going. They reminded me that I had a friend - a best friend - that I could trust. It still reminds me of that... though the relationship has changed. I barely know him anymore. My voice falls into a hollow sounding monotone. "Not when what I'm forced to do is the one thing I've never been good at. The one thing I've never wanted to be."

"Then why do you do it? Why did you even marry that scheißkerl in the first place?"

"I had to," I sob. "I had nothing. No one."

"You had me, Liz."

I pound my fist into the hard plane of his chest. There's no force behind it. Why can't he see? "No, Gil! I didn't have you! You were off traipsing around the world. You were God knows where! You weren't _here_ and I didn't think you were ever coming back! So when my dad died and I was left with nothing and the Edelsteins told me that this marriage would take care of everything, I had no choice but to trust them!"

"Oh _gott_, Lizzy," Gilbert whispers. I feel his arms tighten around me; his face pressing into my hair. "I'm so sorry. I should've been here. I should never have left. I shouldn't have let that schwachkopf even _look_ at you."

A giggle mixes with a sob and rises in my throat. Crying isn't helping my headache. "You did punch his face and break his glasses that time he told me I should stop hanging out with you and be more ladylike."

A single chuckle omits from Gilbert's throat. "Ja, I did, didn't I? Should've been here to do it again," he murmurs. I feel Gilbert nuzzle his face deeper into my hair. His nearness is making me dizzy... lightheaded. My eyes slide shut and a deep breath fills my lungs. With it comes the scent of his cologne; flooding my senses with familiarity. I've always loved Gilbert's cologne. "Shouldn't have stayed away so long," he says, so softly I can barely hear it, but the buzzing in my ears is making it hard to hear much of anything.

"Gilbert..." I say softly. "Some... something's wrong..."

I feel myself go limp in Gilbert's arms. My eyes are still shut, but bright spots dance behind them. My temples pound with the rapid beat of my pulse. I hear Gilbert's voice, too faint to comprehend. _Not again..._

* * *

_Schwachkopf – Moron – German  
scheißkerl – Bastard – German  
scheiße – Shit – German  
Alles lügen – All lies – German  
Mein gott – My God - German  
__**Gilbert does his swearing in German... if you haven't noticed. I do it, too. German or French.**_

* * *

_**Oh look! Another fainting spell! You can keep on speculating... I accept multiple guesses. And next week you'll find out what's going on! *insert evil laugh here*  
**_

_**So... review!**_

_**Also, these songs that I put in... I think in every chapter... my sister picked them out because she thought they'd go well with each chapter. She's got 'em all lined up to keep me on task. If one doesn't fit, I told the story wrong. /sob**_

_**Yeah. Reviewing is awesome. ReviewERS are awesome. And if you correctly guess what's wrong with Lizzy, you get a shout-out at the end of the next chapter! :D If I wasn't WRITING the story, I'd never guess it. Blame it on Autumn. *points at sister***_

_**And since Autumn abandoned me, everything is now her fault.**_

_**See ya next week!**_

_**-Jack**_


	8. Chapter Seven: Dropping The Bomb

_**This chapter is super short. I'm sorry. But that's why I'm posting midweek! I'm hoping to update again on Friday.  
**_

_**Author's note at the bottom.  
**_

* * *

For the second time in twenty-four hours, I wake up to a blinding white light and a pounding headache. Blinking until my eyes adjust, I try to take in my surroundings. It doesn't take a lot of guesswork to figure out that I'm in a hospital.

"Miss Hedervary?" A nurse with short blond hair and kind green eyes appears in my line of vision. "Do you know where you are?"

"A hospital?" I ask, my voice sounding thin and cracked. My throat feels dry. "I fainted again, didn't I?"

The nurse nods. "Yes. And it's probably good that your husband brought you in when he did. Though it's normal in the earlier stages of pregnancy to suffer from dizziness or fainting, you were rather dehydrated, so-"

I blink hard. "What?"

"You were dehydrated. We-"

"No. Before that."

The nurse blinks. "It's normal in the earlier stages of pregnancy to feel faint."

"Pregnancy? I'm _pregnant?_"

"You didn't know?" She grins at me suddenly. "Yes! You're pregnant!" Her face falls suddenly. "Oh. And I already spilled the news to your husband. I hope you don't mind. I assumed you both knew..."

"Roderich knows?" I have no idea how he will take this. It's a fairly safe bet that he won't be very happy. He doesn't like children much. Or me, for that matter.

Confusion fills the pretty face of the nurse. "I thought his name was Gilbert..."

Oh. Of course Gilbert would be the one who brought me here. Roderich is probably still at work, and hasn't the slightest clue about any of this. "Gilbert is just a friend," I say quietly.

"Okay then," the nurse smiles at me again. "I'm going to go start on your discharge paperwork then. Congratulations!"

I stop myself from asking what she is congratulating me for. She's probably thinking I'm weird for not being more excited. It's all still sort of sinking in. I want to deny it, but I can't. It wasn't likely... but it was possible. Its weird to think of. I mean, I've been married to Roderich for two years. We live in separate bedrooms; though occasionally I will join him. It has always been a rather rare occasion. I never thought that this would happen. And now that it has... I don't know what to feel.

"You'd think the guy who got hit on the head with a frying pan would be the one just coming back to consciousness." The deep voice snaps me out of my thoughts, and it has almost stopped becoming a surprise to hear it. I glance toward the door and see Gilbert leaning against the doorway, as casual and collected as ever. He would probably use the term "awesome" to describe it. "Not the girl _wielding_ the frying-pan."

"You shouldn't have done this."

"I suppose you're going to think I overreacted. It was the second time you've passed out in front of me, and in two consecutive days, no less. I know I'm awesome, Liz, but the swooning maiden act has never been your thing. It's best left to others."

I glare at him. Gil seats himself on the foot of my hospital bed. He's got a white bandaged wrapped around his head. I imagine him bringing me in, then having nurses sicced on him, wondering over the huge lump on his head. I work hard to keep the smirk off my face at the thought. I want him to know that I'm mad at him.

"You could have just told me you were preggers, Liz," he says, his face serious. Then he adds a wink. "It's totally unawesome to keep secrets from your best friend."

There he goes again. Talking about our relationship as if a day hasn't gone past. As if three years of silence never happened. I frown harder. "I didn't know."

Gilbert shrugs. "You must have had a suspicion. It must have crossed your mind. You're not an idiot, Lizzy," he tells me, and it feels like he can see straight through me. "You knew something was wrong."

I sigh a little. Pregnancy was _not _the scenario to have crossed my mind.

I notice Gilbert looking out at the waiting area through a space in the curtain. "Your husband is here," he mutters, more than a hint of contempt lacing the words. Gil's gaze comes around to rest on me. Sarcasm drips from his next words. "Roddy's gonna be a daddy. Won't he be ecstatic about that?"

"What _happened_?" Roderich's formal voice rises above the hospital noise so that I can hear it clearly. Gil shoots me a look just as we hear Roderich say "She's _WHAT_? Who brought her here?"

"And that is my cue." Gilbert stands, and with the tip of an imaginary hat, strides from the room. I hear his deep voice, not as loud as Roderich's, but more forceful. "Chill, Roddy. I brought Lizzy in. She's fine, if you were wondering..."

The nurse re-enters just then, distracting me from hearing Roderich's reply. "Let's get you ready to head home, Miss Hedervary."

* * *

_**Tomorrow, a story will be posted on SarahTonin's profile entitled "What the Fishsticks": a crack tragedy in which everything that Jackson Hanning loves dies at the hands of an under appreciated, impatient and probably slightly insane fanfic**__**author. **_

_**This is going to happen because Miss SarahTonin told me, and I quote "She better damn well not be pregnant with Roderich's kid, or I swear I will fictionally kill everything you love." So... someone mail me some Kleenex because I can't stay away from Sarah's fics, no matter what she promises to do to Norway, Gilbird, or my fishsticks. ;-;**_

_**Okay... Shout-outs to those who correctly guessed that the reason behind Lizzy's fainting was PREGNANCY. SarahTonin and franceypants01 were the only two to correctly guess that she was indeed pregnant. Thank you to Icefire149, BlessedRain, Onarwal, and Trubie74 for your guesses... though they were incorrect. You can has cookies anyway.  
**_

_**And a special shout out to SarahTonin. She guessed... 71 different scenarios. My 3 favorites:**_

_#1 (I count it all as one, big, related tangent): Gilbird was making lewd gestures? Ludwig was making lewd gestures? Ludwig was making out with Elizaveta's true love, Gilbird? Ludwig and Feliciano were making out? Kiku made an unannounced cameo? She saw her father's ghost? His ghost was making lewd gestures?_

_#2: Gilbert is wearing a perfume called "eau de make-the-love-of-my-life-literally-fall-for-me?"_

_#3: She got in the way of you and your fishsticks? **(Fuck yeah. Nobody gets between me and my fishsticks)**  
_

_***cue the Jimmy Fallon "Thank You Notes" music*  
So... Thank you... Sarah... For spamming my PM box every day with your insane speculations, when you really got it right the first day and I couldn't tell you. If you kill me, you'll never see the happy ending.  
Love, Jack  
**_

_****__**Please review. I don't care if they're all flames, and if you all threaten to kill me. I just want this to be the most reviewed chapter thus far (because of its... controversial plot twist), which means I need eight reviews.**_

_**She's pregnant. With Roderich's kid. WUTCHA GON' DO?**_

_**And the nurse is Belgium. If you care.  
**_

_**-Jack, who is still in hiding so you can't kill him.  
**_


	9. Chapter Eight: Love is

_I see you driving 'round town_  
_With the girl I love and I'm like,_  
_Forget you!_  
_Oo, oo, ooo_  
_I guess the change in my pocket_  
_Wasn't enough I'm like,_  
_Forget you!_

_Forget You by Cee Lo Green  
_

* * *

I paced the waiting room for an hour and a half after I got Lizzy to the emergency room. The nurses tried to get me to sit down by telling me I had a concussion. No shit, Sherlock. What else happens when you get bashed over the head with a cast iron frying pan? It didn't matter that the room was fuzzy, or that I had a pounding headache. I was too worried about Lizzy to sit still.

A nurse finally had the bright idea to come and tell me that both Lizzy and the baby were fine and that she was still asleep, but that I could see her as soon as she woke up.

_Baby._

One of the worst feelings I've ever known settled in the pit of my stomach. Liz was pregnant. With Roderich's baby.

I finally had to sit down. The nurse thought it was because I was relieved. More like I was trying not to hurl. Everything suddenly sunk in at once. My Lizzy was married... and expecting a child. And she didn't tell me about it.

Then I heard Lizzy's voice. I took a deep breath. I should have listened to her better. She told me she was married, and I couldn't accept it. She probably didn't tell me about the baby because... _Because she's smart enough to know that I'm too bullheaded to believe her._

Finally I saw the nurse come out of the curtained off partition and glance in my direction before hurrying off to the desk nearby. I stand and move slowly toward the room Lizzy is in. I brace one hand against the doorjamb and watch her for a moment. She looks... How to describe it? I don't know. It's somewhere between angry and...

No way.

"You'd think the guy who got _hit_ on the head with a frying pan would be the one just coming back to consciousness..." I say the words before I can let my thoughts run away with me. Lizzy's head turns and her green eyes land on me, full of dull annoyance. They're rimmed with red and look tired. "Not the girl _wielding_ the frying pan," I finish.

"You shouldn't have done this," she says, her eyelids lowered in a glare aimed in my direction.

"I suppose you're going to think I overreacted," I say suddenly. "It was the _second_ time you've passed out in front of me, and in two consecutive days, no less." I take a breath and tell myself to keep calm. Stay collected. I'm hoping she can't see how badly I'm freaking out. It's really not awesome to freak out. "I know I'm awesome, Liz, but the swooning maiden act has never been your thing. It's best left to others."

She doesn't say anything. I move to the foot of her bed and take a seat. "You could have just told me you were preggers, Liz," I tell her. I want her to know she can open up to me. Fine. I understand that she's married. I can't have her. But I can still be her friend. We had that once... I just want it back. "It's totally unawesome to keep secrets from your best friend."

Lizzy frowns. I don't like it. It doesn't look good on her. "I didn't know."

"You must have had a suspicion. It must have crossed your mind," I tell her. "You're not an idiot, Lizzy." It's an obvious statement. "You knew something was wrong."

She doesn't say anything. From outside in the waiting room, I hear a pitched, formal voice. It grates on my nerves, just like it has ever since grade school when I met the snobbiest, most privileged child in the town. Possibly the country. I can see Roderich arguing with a nurse from outside. "Your husband is here," I mutter, trying not to sound bitter. Roddy should have that title. Especially not matched with my Lizzy.

Outside, Roddy's voices goes high, and I wonder if it will crack like it did constantly when we were teenagers. "What _happened_?" A moment of quiet as I assume the nurse tries to explain. "She's _WHAT_?" Roddy explodes. I roll my eyes. "Who brought her here?"

"And that's my cue," I tell Lizzy. I propel myself off the end of the bed and out into the waiting area without looking back at Lizzy. "Chill, Roddy," I tell him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "I brought Lizzy in. She's fine, if you were wondering..."

Roddy spins and glares at me. "You," he practically spits in distain. "You brought her in?"

"I just told you that, dummkopf."

"I speak German too, you know," he tells me, casting a condescending look in my direction. "Perhaps not as vulgarly as you, but German none-the-less. May I ask why you brought Elizaveta to the emergency room... and why you were present when the need arose?"

Okay. This guy is seriously pissing me off. "I was paying a visit to an old friend," I tell him, keeping my voice level. "And when she passed out, I thought the best idea would be to bring her to the hospital."

Roderich studies me for a moment. I resist the urge to punch that smug, arrogant look off his face. "Elizaveta is a married woman. A woman of high standing. It won't do for her to be seen entertaining riff-raff and other less than desirable company."

Did he just call me "riff-raff"? Or more importantly... he _uses_ the phrase "riff-raff"? Who does that? It must be a boring person thing, because it's weirding me out.

"So you're saying I'm not good enough to hang out with my best friend?"

"I do believe you are the one who left, Gilbert," Roderich says, his eyes narrow behind his wire-rimmed glasses. "You left. Without a word of goodbye to anyone. Just... packed your bags and headed off to the far reaches of God-knows-where. Elizaveta was inconsolable for many weeks after your disappearance. I like to think that our engagement helped her to get over you, and the way you treated her."

"And how did I treat her?" I ask, taking a step closer. I'm getting mad now. I wonder how much trouble I'll get in for breaking a guy's nose in the middle of a hospital waiting room.

"Like you treat everything," he tells me casually, looking like we could be discussing something like the type of polish he uses on his shoes. Oh wait... he probably cares about that sort of thing. "Carelessly. As a passing trend. You're never satisfied in one place, or with one person, for long. You never have, and I can't see as you ever will."

I suck in a breath. _Don't punch him. Don't punch him. Don't punch him._ "For your information, I care about Lizzy. She is my dearest friend."

"Hmm," Roddy hums. It sounds self satisfied. I decide I must be awesomely good at covering my emotions, because otherwise he'd be running for his life right now. "Interesting. Is that all?"

"You know damn well that's not all, Roddy," I hiss. "But contrary to what you think of me, I do have respect, and I have boundaries, and I am aware that you and Lizzy are married. So I can't very well go around declaring my undying love for her, now can I?"

Roddy's face turns a little green. "Yes, well. It was always rather plain that you fancied her. But I can't fathom how you ever claimed to love her so much, yet were able to just take up and leave without warning, _and_ stay away without any word for three whole years. So perhaps it really wasn't all that plain after all."

"Why did you marry her?"

"For her own good."

"Out of the pure, generous nature of your own heart?" I ask sarcastically. "Because you gain absolutely nothing out of the whole relationship, right?"

"I never said that."

"Then why?"

Roderich frowns. "You're not the only one with eyes for Elizaveta. While I might not show my cares in an obnoxious display like in the idiotic movies and novels that women adore so much, I care for Elizaveta as well. I have for a long time."

My stomach flips. _So he does have a soul_.

"You love her?"

"I don't believe in love," he says simply.

I laugh wryly and roll my eyes. "You're a moron."

Roderich rolls his eyes back at me. "Love is a term used fleetingly. I care deeply for Elizaveta. I married her for the cause of supporting her. A marriage built on claims of love falls apart at the seams. Haven't you read a newspaper?"

"Oh, shut up. So I believe in love. It's stronger than you think, Roddy. You don't agree? Fine. Sue me."

"Love clouds your ability to think clearly."

"Love isn't something you can put in a box, Roddy."

"Love is superfluous."

"You know, I can't argue if I have to pull out a thesaurus ever three words, Roddy. Can't you speak English? Or German. Either one works for me."

"Leave Elizaveta be. She is better off without you."

"How can you say that? It's not really your place to decide that."

"I don't want her getting her head in the clouds," Roderich states.

I stop. I look Roddy up and down. He's still a pipsqueak. And I still want to punch him in the face. But... I don't. "You listen here, Roddy," I say, my voice low. "If hurt Lizzy..." I don't finish my sentence. I think he can fill in the blanks with whatever he likes. I'm pretty sure the death glare I'm aiming at him gets the basic point across.

For a moment, we stand in a stare-down. Then a nurse approaches and taps Roderich on the shoulder. "Sir? We're ready to discharge your wife. Will you please come with me...?"

Roderich gives a curt nod in my direction, a dismissal really, and I'm not sure if it's for himself or for me. One thing's for sure. Roddy can't keep me away from Lizzy.

There's no way in hell I'm ever letting her go again.

* * *

_**Good news! I'm still alive! You guys... don't hate me... right? At least... not ALL of you. Right?**_

_**Confrontation time. What did you think? *shrugs* Who'da known Roddy was actually capable of /feeling/?**_

_**I'm on break as of today, and I'm posting this chapter to celebrate! YAY! So I'm gonna try and crank out the rest of this story as fast as I can. Expect updates frequently. I want to finish before I go back to school on the 14th.  
**_

_**-Jack**_


	10. Chapter Nine: Changes and Trophies

Something's changed around here... changed for the better. It's... everything. It's me... it's Roderich and Feliciano... it's the general atmosphere of the house. It's happier. Happier in these last few weeks than ever before.

Ever since I found out I was pregnant, I've noticed the change. It started with me. It took a few days, but I finally got used to the idea. I was going to have a baby. Roderich's baby. While I still wasn't sure how he felt on the whole thing, I had accepted it. I was even... happy about it. Most of the time. I'm still pretty terrified of the whole thing.

Feliciano's change was barely noticeable. Once he found out, he won't stop staring at my stomach. I think he's still trying to understand how a baby would fit in there. The bump is starting to show, but I find it hard to believe myself. Feliciano is even more perky than usual... and I had no idea that was possible. He's begun a ritual of patting my stomach when he sees me and grinning at my stomach, usually saying a hello of some sort to the child he knows is inside. He's already calling it his "baby brother".

Roderich's change is the most drastic, and the one I find hardest to believe. He's been in a very good mood. Playing happy songs on the piano, the violin, or whatever other instrument he decides to pick up in the evenings. He's slower to snap at Feliciano, and he actually smiled at me last night. That single gesture proved without a doubt that he is, in fact, trying. I'm not sure why. I never expected he would. But I think I'm glad he has. I mean... it's his child, too. And it would break my heart to see Roderich treat our baby the way he treats me or Feliciano... or anyone else for that matter.

Even Gilbert has changed. And this change I'm torn on.

Gilbert hasn't come around much since... _the revelation_. That is not to say I haven't seen him. He has become Ludwig's primary caregiver since he came home, so he walks him to school and walks him home, and generally we end up walking together – since we live on the same block and Feli and Ludwig are such close friends. But Gilbert is different. It's like he's trying to be my friend, but he's keeping too much distance. I don't understand. And it's killing me inside to lose him all over again.

So while I've gained the husband I've never had, I feel the best friend I've only just regained slipping away. But maybe that's for the better anyway. Gilbert and I... we were never meant to be. I know that. I've always known that my love for him wasn't requited. It was confirmed the day he showed up on my doorstep and told me he was leaving and didn't want to come back. It was reaffirmed every day after that... when I prayed that God would send him back to me.. That he would rescue me from having to live with Roderich.. From having to marry Roderich. But he never came, and I accepted it.

This is my life. I can't go back now. I have to keep moving forward. Keep living. I have reason now. I've sworn that I will protect the child that is now mine. And that's another promise I would never break.

* * *

_Promise me to think of us, of a time so beautiful_  
_ Promise me to think of us, still bright, still colorful_  
_ Promise me to look back at us, of a time in your life, you enjoyed_

_ Surrounded by flames everywhere,_  
_ what I used to be, I'm not even there_  
_ The absence of you is killing me, ...hey-ey,_  
_ are you thinking like me, of the laughing times,_  
_ or of the sad and loving times?_  
_ everything that's left from us_  
_ is fading away_

_ Promise me to think of us, of a time so beautiful_  
_ Promise me to think of us, still bright, still colorful_  
_ Promise me to look back at us, of a time in your life, you enjoyed_

_-Promise Me by Dead By April_

* * *

It is purely selfish.

When I am honest with myself, I know this. It is only to get under Beilschmidt's skin. That is the biggest purpose in it all.

Do not get me wrong. Elizaveta is a beautiful woman. Intelligent and kind, though a bit too headstrong and willed to be a real lady. It of course is all perfectly natural to assume that a man of my standing would wed a woman like she. But that is not the whole story.

It started in grade school. Gilbert Beilschmidt tortured me mercilessly. I plotted endless ages to think up any revenge I could get on him. He was bigger, stronger, more popular. The only real advantage I had on him was my brain. I thought so long on it, and one day I realized that the answer was right in front of my eyes.

Gilbert always had a crush on Elizaveta. Practically everyone knew about it. With this bit of knowledge, I decided that I could beat Beilschmidt eventually, and take away the one thing he liked the most. His best friend.

It was not so easy. Elizaveta and I were not friends, and I had no intention of dating her. Not then. What I wanted was to get closer to her and make him jealous. I had all but given up my plan when I caught wind that Gilbert had up and left town.

My plan after that was not hard to formulate, and I acted quickly, for fear he might return before it was complete. Elizaveta's father was very ill, so I went to him and spoke with him. I promised that I would take care of Elizaveta after he passed, and he was very glad to hear this. I think it was his urgings that persuaded her to finally agree to marriage.

After that, I made Elizaveta my wife. She is a nice woman. I am not in love with her. She is simply my trophy... declaring once and for all that Roderich Edelstein beat Gilbert Beilschmidt. And I finally reap the results.

But now... things are different. Elizaveta is pregnant. While unintentional, I am not displeased. As I said... she is a very beautiful woman. I am only human. And every man wants a son to carry on his family name. I could have done without, but since it has been accomplished, I will accept with grace.

Heaven knows the last thing I need running around my house is another child. Feliciano is enough of a handful. I can only pray that Elizaveta manages to keep our child in line before it gets to be too late.

If nothing else, my child with Elizaveta is one last bit of triumph I can rub in Beilschmidt's arrogant face.

I suppose that makes it all worthwhile.

* * *

_**Is it just me who wants to punch Roddy's face in? You too? Oh good.  
**_

_**I'm not promising anything, but the next chappie will probably be posted tomorrow. I ain't got nothing else to do.  
**_

_**Please review. Thank you. :)  
**_

_**-Jack  
**_


	11. Chapter Ten: One-Track Mind?

"Good morning Luddy! Mr. Gilbert!"

"Guten morgen, Feli," Gilbert grins. I notice it becomes slightly more painted when it is turned on me. "Guten morgen, Liz."

"Gilbert," I say. "Ludwig. Come on, let's get going. You don't want to be late for school."

The boys with their backpacks run ahead, Ludwig dragged onward by Feliciano. I trail behind at my own pace and Gilbert matches it.

"So how long before you can't walk the kid to school anymore?" Gilbert asks after a few minutes of silence.

"Pardon?"

Gilbert uses his hand to illustrate his stomach getting larger. Or rather... mine. "You're already starting to waddle, Liz."

I should probably get angry with him, but I don't. In fact, I laugh. I notice a catch on Gilbert's face before a smile appears. "I don't know, Gil," I tell him. "As long as I can. I think until the end of the school year. It isn't that far away."

"Two months," he says, and I see that teasing glint that has been missing for the last few weeks return. "You could be big as a house by then, Liz."

I let out an incredulous laugh. "Thanks!"

"Oh, I'm just teasing, Lizzy," he grins.

I draw in a deep breath but I have to smile at him anyway. "I know."

Gilbert and I fall silent again, finished teasing, I guess. "What's going on here?" I ask quietly.

"What do you mean?"

"With us," I say. "I mean... we're friends... right?"

"Of course," he says. "Always have been as far as I'm concerned."

I swallow a surge of bitterness over the missing three years in our history. "Then what are you doing?"

Gilbert frowns, looking confused. "What do you mean? What am I doing?"

"One day you're teasing me like you used to, and the next day you barely speak to me." I look over at him, walking beside me, a foot of empty space between us.

"I don't want to stifle you, Liz. And I don't want you to think I'm trying to step on your marriage. I just want to be your friend. That's it."

My heart falls, and I immediately reprimand myself. I am married. I can't think this way about Gilbert. I want to be so much more than friends with him, but I can't. I can't.

I swallow my remorse and guilty feelings. "Then be my friend. Don't be all bi-polar."

"Roddy makes it a little hard," Gil mutters.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm more afraid of what he'll do or say to you if he thinks I've overstepped my bounds, Liz. I can take Roddy. But if he hurts you, I will never forgive myself for letting it happen."

"He's never hurt me-" I begin.

"Wrong," Gilbert breaks in. "You told my yourself."

I frown hard, and I can feel my forehead creasing. "What? When? What did I-"

"When someone tells you repeatedly that you're not good enough - that you'll _never_ be good enough - you end up believing it," Gilbert says quietly. I immediately remember the words as my own. My face colors with heat. I never meant to say any of those things to him. How can I help myself, though? Gilbert has this effect on me... and when I'm around him, I can't control myself. "He doesn't have to be violent to hurt you, Lizzy," Gilbert tells me, his voice very low. "The way he talks about you... he's somehow got you convinced that you're not good enough. For what, I don't know. Because you've always been perfect. Way more than good enough. So if he tells you once that you're not good enough, I'll tell you ten times that you are. If that's what it takes."

I stare at the sidewalk beneath my feet as I walk. "Thank you," I say quietly, and let the matter drop. Because we have arrived at the school.

Gilbert and I make sure Ludwig and Feliciano get to their respective classes okay, and then the two of us part. He leaves for his job working road construction, and I head home. "See you later, Lizzy," he tells me with an easy grin. I steel my knees against melting and wave back. Then he heads off down the street with a spring in his step, and I somehow can't bring myself to turn away until he disappears around the corner.

* * *

I can't help myself from thinking of Lizzy at work. She's on my mind pretty much constantly. In my mind, I can play out all the different scenarios. What might have happened if she'd come with me to Europe. What might have happened had I never gone anywhere. What might have happened if I had smothered Roddy in his sleep the one time I had the chance. What might happen if I did that today.

It's quite tempting, really. I mean, it took a few nights after I figured out that Liz was... you know... preggers. I mean I literally woke up in a cold sweat and start cussing out Roddy in German for ever touching Liz. I was in my boxers, pulling on my shoes, ready to head down the street and murder that scheißkerl for what he did with _my_ Lizzy when West comes barreling in, looking uncharacteristically ruffled. The little shit I call my brother somehow managed to get my gun off me and locked me in my room until the next morning when I'd cooled off enough to think straight. I thanked him for it later. But I still want to kill Roderich.

I try my best to push my homicidal thoughts away and concentrate. Not that my job needs a whole lot of concentration. I landed a gig doing road construction. Not glamorous, and kind of mundane. Digging holes and filling them with tar isn't really rocket science. I got to direct traffic one day, but then I flipped off a rude old lady and my boss got mad. So I'm back to digging holes.

"Hey-a, Gil!"

I wipe my forehead with my bare arm and glance up. One of my fellow construction workers calls to me from the edge of the shallow pit I'm digging. His name is Alfred. All the guys on my crew are pretty decent. There are five of us all together – Me, Al, Toni, Jan, and Matt. "Was oben ist, brohas?"

Alfred chuckles and grins down at me. "Lunchtime, dude! C'mon, we're waitin' for you!" He extends a gloved hand to help me out of the pit. I grasp it and jump out, leaving my shovel propped against the edge of the hole. Alfred and I make our way over to the pick-ups where the rest of the crew has already gathered. Toni grins at me and greets me in Spanish, while Jan flicks open the lid of the cooler and tosses me my lunch bag. I catch it midair and shoot him a grin. He keeps his face set in stone and hands another bag to Alfred, who has settled to sit in the bed of the truck behind Jan.

"You can sit here, Gilbert," offers Matt softly. He's a pretty quiet guy – in a different way than Jan. Jan's voice is deep and commanding when he chooses to use it. Matt's is soft and unobtrusive. I think I like him best out of my whole crew. The others tend to forget he's there, though. Even Alfred... and the two of them are brothers.

"Thanks Matt," I say, leaning back against the hatch of the second pick-up. Toni sits behind Jan and Al, leaning against the cab, eating a tomato like it's an apple. Then a car pulls head-to-head with one of the trucks and Toni's face lights up like a Christmas tree. He jumps up in the bed of the trunk, waving toward the newcomers.

"Is that your sister, Jan?" I ask, craning my neck. Jan's younger sister Emma has brought his lunch for him on several occasions.

Jan only nods in response.

Just then, a pretty young blonde and a surly looking teenaged boy round the corner of the trucks. The blonde smiles cheerfully and the boy crosses his arms across his chest, obviously trying to ignore Toni.

"Hi Lovi!" Toni exclaims, jumping over Alfred and landing on his feet on the ground. A fairly impressive jump, I must say. "Hi Emma!"

"I brought your lunch, Jan," Emma says, handing a bag to Jan. Then she nudges the boy's arm with her elbow.

He shoots her a rather unhappy look and turns toward Toni, who is staring at the boy, grinning ear to ear. Toni is the youngest of our crew. I don't think the kid with Emma can be more than two years younger than him. I have to crack a smile. I'm pretty sure that there's some smitten-ness going on... and that it's mutual. Only the kid's trying to hide it, and Toni couldn't care less who knows. "We brought you some lunch too, bastard," the kid mutters in Toni's general direction.

"Aww, Lovi, you didn't have to!" Toni's face looks about ready to split from his smile. He reaches out a hand to ruffle the dark head of hair on Lovi's head.

Lovi's face contorts into a scowl. It isn't far from it's original position. "Shut up! It isn't like it was my idea or anything!"

Emma rolled her eyes. "Be nice, okay?"

The kid's face flushes, he swallows hard, and he presses his lips together tightly. Emma gives another roll of her eyes and loops an arm around his neck, pulling him into a sort of headlock-slash-hug.

"Thanks Emma," Jan says then. "I'll see you tonight."

"Okay!" Emma chirps cheerfully. She turns to Toni. "Are you still coming to dinner tonight, Antonio?"

Toni grins, and I notice he glances at Lovi out of the corner of his eye. "Si, si! Try to keep me away, Emma!" Toni turns and winks at the teenager, still darkly staring at anything except the Spanish man. "I'll see you tonight, Lovi!"

Lovi scowls and hurries back around the trucks to Emma's car. Emma slowly backs up to follow him. "Nice to see you all!"

"Bye Emma!" I add my farewell to the chorus from Matt and Alfred and Toni. Jan's already pulled out his sandwich and is tearing into it. Alfred starts up a conversation about comic books and I have to grin as Toni and Matt are pulled into it. I add my own awesome two cents, and even Jan pipes in on occasion.

As I finish the last of my lunch and wad up the paper bag, I grin. I resisted coming back here for so long because I hated this town so much. But what I've learned in these past couple months is that it's all in how you look at things. After I found out about Lizzy and Roddy, I considered leaving again. I didn't know how I'd be able to stand it without Liz. In the end, I stayed for West's sake. And now here I am... with a good job and pretty awesome friends and stuff to laugh about. I mean, hey! They even got my mind off of killing Roddy for a while.

Things have changed for me. And I'm okay with that. This is home now. I think it always was, in some ways. Even though I couldn't see it three years ago.


	12. Chapter Eleven: It Starts With A Fight

It starts off with a fight.

I know my day is about to be rough when Feliciano and I have an argument. For starters, he doesn't get irritated easily. Feli's such a simple child to care for. He doesn't get mad, he doesn't talk back, he doesn't even frown most days. He just laughs and sings and turns those puppy dog eyes up at me.

So when we get into an argument before we're even through with breakfast, I know it's a bad day.

"No, Feliciano."

"But I wanna! Walk! Home! With! Luddy!" Feliciano punctuates his shouting with the pound of a spoon on the table.

"I told you Feliciano. Ludwig isn't walking with us today. He is going on the buses to the field trip and won't even come back to school before it's time for you and I to walk home."

Feliciano sends me a death glare, as if I am the reason that he can't walk home with his friend today.

My bad day continues when Feliciano intentionally drags his feet getting dressed and gathering his backpack and getting out the front door. It is one day I wish I had a car. I don't, because everywhere I need to go is within walking distance and I have always loved the exercise. Roderich rents a car in the winter for me to use, because it is the only time I drive anywhere. And since spring is already showing signs of leading into an Indian summer, it is long past the time when I usually refuse to take the car out.

Once out the door, Feliciano stays three steps ahead of me until we reach the school. He doesn't even say goodbye before disappearing into his classroom. I can only hope that his attitude gets an adjustment before the end of the school day.

It doesn't.

At the end of the day, Feliciano's eyes lock on me and his smile does a 180. A few teachers and passing students who are used to a smiling Feli do a double take and glance worridly at me. I ignore them. "Are you ready to go home, Feli?"

"I want to wait for Ludwig."

I let out a sharp breath. I've had it. "No, Feliciano. The older kids aren't getting back from their field trip for another half hour. Then Gilbert will pick Ludwig up and walk him home. But _you_, little mister, won't know that, because you will be in your bedroom for the rest of the evening if you keep using that tone with me."

Feliciano scowls deeply and I touch my head, wondering for a moment if he has actually been replaced by his sour older brother. "Fine then. You will march straight home, do your homework, and go to bed, Feliciano Mateo Vargas!"

Felicano lets out a strangled yell and runs out the front doors of the school. "Feli!" I call after him, hurrying to keep up. "Feliciano, wait for me!"

I see a flash of Feliciano's blue backpack in a crowd of children at the crossing. I let out another frustrated shout that sounds like his name, and he glances back at me before he keeps moving.

I'm practically running to catch up with him now, panting a little from exertion. My baby bump feels bigger than it probably is. I'm just past the halfway point in my pregnancy. Running isn't really my forte lately. I've never felt so out of shape.

"Feli!" I call again. The crowd of children has weeded out and Feliciano has surpassed the rest of them trying to stay away from me. He doesn't even glance back when I call his name now.

Until the corner that is.

The sound of construction noises rumbles through the air. The grating of a mechanical scoop drowns out my voice as I continue to call for Feliciano to stop. Feliciano glances back at me as he walks, probably making sure he's still outrunning me.

He doesn't see the car. But I do.

"Feliciano!" I scream his name again and break into a sprint, but this time my voice is laced with extreme panic. His head whips around and he sees the car. The driver sees him. But it's too late to stop.

Not for me. I run into the road, shoving Feliciano out of the way. I hear the screech of brakes, Feliciano screams, and then I feel pain – a stabbing pain piercing through my head and continuing through the rest of my body.

Then the world goes black.

* * *

_Things not what they used to be_  
_Missing one inside of me_  
_Deathly lost, this can't be real_  
_Cannot stand this hell I feel_

_Emptiness is filling me_  
_To the point of agony_  
_Growing darkness taking dawn_  
_I was me but now he's gone_

_No one but me can save myself_  
_But it's too late_  
_Now I can't think_  
_Think why I should even try_

_Yesterday seems as though_  
_It never existed_  
_Death greets me warm_  
_Now I will just say goodbye_

_~Fade to Black by Metallica_

* * *

"Wanna smoke?"

"No thanks, Jan, I've gotta keep my feet on the ground today." I toss a grin toward the big crew member. "My little brother needs me to get him home today."

"What about Eliza?" he asks. "Doesn't she walk past your house every day anyway?"

"West is on a field trip today. Be back late."

"Hmm." Jan took another puff of his joint and let out a breath of sickly sweet smoke.

I grin. "Hey Birdie!" I shout. It's become my nickname for Matt since the day I found out he's got a soft spot for fuzzy little birdies.

"Yeah Gil?"

"Toss me a bottle of water and some more duct tape?"

"You got it."

"Wait Matt!" Toni calls.

"What?"

"Tell Al to get that loader over here, will you?"

"Will do," Matt says, disappearing from sight. I can hear him shout to Alfred from further away. "Alfred, start up the loader, eh!"

Toni and I back away as Alfred drives the loader closer and starts scooping away the broken asphalt from the road we're repaving. It's a quiet, four-way intersection, and the fork we're repairing is closed this whole week. It'll be a quick job, then off to the next.

Over the loud grating noise of Alfred operating the loader, I think I hear a voice. I turn around, squinting down the sidewalks before I see the source. It's too loud to hear what they are saying, but as they come closer, I see that it is Feli and Liz. I grin and start to wave. Then I notice the scowl Feli is wearing and pause. I didn't know the kid _could_ frown.

Feli looks back toward Liz, who is booking down the sidewalk. He steps out into the road and my eyes go wide. A silver sedan speeds down the road, headed straight for Feli. _Stop, stop stop!_ "Feli!" I yell, but my voice is drowned out by the noise from the machinery. _C'mon, moron, brake already!_ But I can see the driver of the sedan is looking down. He doesn't see the little boy in his path.

I bolt out from the roadblock and sprint toward Feli. I don't know what I'm going to do if I reach him, but instinct has taken over. I know I'm too far away.

But Lizzy isn't.

I skid to a stop and watch in horror as I see Liz shove Feli out of the path of the car. The driver of the sedan has looked up and slammed onto his brakes, but it's too late. Lizzy takes the collision head-on. I watch as her body crumples into the car and hits the pavement. She is still. Too still.

"Lizzy!" I hear someone screaming. It might be me. The world goes into slow motion as I start moving again. My knees hit the ground beside Lizzy as I try to find a pulse. "Oh my go- Lizzy, Lizzy, can you hear me? Lizzy? LIZZY!"

The driver has appeared at my side. "Oh my god, is she okay?" And then the crew comes up as well, asking questions along the same lines. "Is she okay?" "What happened?" They're all stupid questions, because my world has ceased to turn.

I yell at someone to call an ambulance. Toni tells me he doesn't speak German. I hadn't even realized the switch. "Call an ambulance, Birdie!" I say desperately.

"He already is," Alfred says. Everyone seems to be trying to get me to calm down. I can't. Lizzy. Lizzy, my beautiful, awesome, perfect Lizzy. I don't know if she's dead or alive. All I see is blood trickling out of her nose and one of her ears. I'm no doctor, but that's not good.

_Not good. Lizzy, Lizzy wake up! Tell me you're okay, Lizzy, Lizzy you can't die because I love you too damn much and I never got to tell you! _ "I never got to tell you."

I don't realized I've whispered the last part aloud until Jan tells me to "shut the fuck up with the German."

The wail of a siren breathes the tiniest of hopes into my chest. "Please be okay, Liz. Please, please, please..." I keep kneeling beside her, and I find myself stroking her hair away from her face. Finally, the paramedics appear around me, and I think it is Birdie who finally pulls me away.

Then suddenly Feli is there, wrapping himself around my legs and sobbing that it's all his fault. My voice has disappeared on me, though. I stand speechless as I watch the paramedics load Lizzy into the ambulance and speed away, lights flashing, sirens blaring.

_Lizzy_.

* * *

_**I want to hear angry, heartbroken, or dying-to-know reviews. Threaten my life, my loves, my existence if you must. It means I have done my job on this chapter.**  
_

_**-Jack**_


	13. Chapter Twelve: Waiting Room

"_So do you want a boy or a girl?" I say the words as I fall in step with Lizzy one morning as we walk Feli and West to school. While at first it was sort of an uncomfortable topic, Lizzy's baby was soon the only thing we talked about. If she hadn't been excited at first, she was now. Just the mention of the baby inside of her made her face light up. It is a sight I live for, so I do anything to bring it back._

_Lizzy smiles and sighs softly. "I don't know. I'd be happy either way. Feli's convinced it's a boy."_

"_I noticed that," I remarked with a smirk. The kid randomly runs up and starts petting Liz's stomach at the weirdest times. Then he'll say something like "Hi baby brother! Come out and play soon, okay?" And then Feli goes on with his life like the last twelve seconds hadn't happened. It was adorable in a weird sort of way._

"_Roderich wants a boy, too," she adds softly. "We'll name it after him if it is."_

"_I think it's going to be a girl," I say suddenly, not really knowing where the words come from._

_Lizzy looks sidelong at me and smirks. "So competitive," she teases. "You think it's a girl, huh? Roddy won't even discuss girl names with me. He claims he just knows that it is a boy."_

"_Nah, it's definitely a girl," I grin, liking the idea more and more. I can see it. A feisty little girl with long brown curls and bright green eyes. "She'll be just like her awesome Mutti."_

"_Is that "Mother"?" Lizzy asks me. She frequently complains that I use too much German, and that she never knows what I'm saying. I think she knows more than she lets on, though._

_I nod. "Yeah. It is."_

"_I hope she isn't like me," Lizzy says softly, looking down at the ground. "I want better for her than that."_

"_Lizzy," I say in a soft rebuke. "Don't do that."_

"_It's true. She's already got Roderich for a dad." Lizzy lets out a humorless laugh. "Hopefully that's the only blemish on her."_

"_So what's her name?" I ask suddenly. "If she were here right now, and you had to name her, what would you name her?"_

_Lizzy looks back up at me, a divided glint in her eye. "I don't know! That's such... it's too hard to pick..."_

"_No it's not," I encourage. "Any name. Pick one."_

"_Annie," Lizzy says quickly. Then she seems to think about it again. "Annie," she says again, slower this time, and more certain. "I'd name her Annie."_

_I smile. "I can't wait to meet Annie, then."_

* * *

_ I'm caught in a moment out in the rain_  
_Tell me there's something we can say_  
_Help me to find a light_  
_Something that's worth living_  
_Shes walking the backbeat out in the grave_  
_Tell me there's something we can change_  
_Help me to find my way back down_

_'Cuz Annie's got to get out_  
_Before she never can_  
_We're chasing for the ceiling_  
_I'm grabbing for her hand_  
_We're calling on a thin phone line, tonight_  
_'Cuz Annie's got to get out_

_Holding the line from the back of the car_  
_Miles and miles from where you are_  
_Maye the hardest things are the dreams that we've been given_  
_And you scream and you sing and you shout_  
_There one way in and there's one way out_  
_Help me to find my way back down_

_'Cuz Annie's got to get out_  
_Before she never can_  
_We're chasing for the ceiling_  
_I'm grabbing for her hand_  
_Were calling on a thin phone line, tonight_  
_'Cuz Annie's got to get out_

_There's one love in the morning_  
_Add three days in the grave_  
_Fall back in the evening_  
_Now our lives will change_

_I'm caught in a moment out in the rain_  
_Tell me there's something we can say_  
_Help me to find my way back down_

_'Cuz Annie's got to get out_  
_Before she never can_  
_We're chasing for the ceiling_  
_I'm grabbing for her hand_  
_Were calling on a thin phone line, tonight_  
_'Cuz Annie's got to get out_  
_Oh Annie's got to get out_

_ ~Annie by Mat Kearney_

* * *

I hate waiting rooms.

The whole idea of them is a place where you wait. I hate waiting, so naturally I would hate a whole room dedicated to this act. I have a special place in my hatred for hospital waiting rooms, though. Even more so since my last encounter with one. Last time and this time, I wait for the same purpose - news of Lizzy. It is more terrifying this time than last, but on the way to the hospital, I finally managed to get my head back on straight enough to fake a cool I don't feel inside.

I don't know how long it has been since I last saw Lizzy... being loaded into the back of an ambulance. It's probably been thirty minutes. It feels like hours. When I shut my eyes, I can still see her lying there; bloody, broken, and lifeless. I try not to shut my eyes

I sit in the waiting room of the hospital. Matt and Toni sit nearby. Matt drove me us here the second he could. The cops will probably have questions, both for me, as a witness, and for Feli as well, but for now, I have to be as close as I can to news of Liz.

Feli is still clinging to me, sobbing like crazy. I'm not exactly sure what to do with him. I don't want him to have to sit here, not when he keeps sobbing over and over that it's all his fault. He hasn't explained himself, and I don't think he's going to any time soon. For now, I just let him sob into the front of my shirt as I try to think of someone to call to take care of him for a while.

My mind lands on Emma for no clear reason. I swing my head in Toni's direction to ask for her phone number, but he tells me she's already on her way. "I figured she could take Feli for a while. Besides, if anyone can calm Feli down, it's Lovinito."

"L-Lovino?" Feliciano chokes out between sobs, lifting his head to look at Toni. "I-is L-Lovi c-c-coming?"

"Si, si, Feli," Toni says gently. "Su hermano mayor is coming just as quick as he can, okay?"

Feli lets out a shuddering sob and buries his face back into the front of my shirt.

Barely five minutes pass before the doors burst open and the tall, dark-haired Lovino comes running in. He halts and glances around the room before his eyes land on me and he races over. "Feli! Feli, ti senti bene?"

Feliciano's head whips around and he practically jumps off of my lap and into Lovino's arms. "Fratello! Lovi, e 'colpa mia! Tutta la mia colpa..." Feliciano buries his face into the shirt of the teenager clinging to him.

"Sono qui, Felicano, non piangere," Lovino murmurs gently into Feli's ear, rubbing soothing circles on his back as he kneels in the middle of the waiting room floor. "Sono qui."

While I don't follow the conversation due to the language barrier, I have by now figured out that the two are brothers. Hadn't put it together before. I understand now why Toni said Lovi would be able to calm Feli down. I notice that Emma has appeared in the waiting room as well, and Toni seems to be filling her in on what we know. Which is nothing.

I wish they would tell me something. They said they would keep me updated when I told them I was looking for her. They don't think I'm her husband this time, but they have my name on file from last time. And since no one has gotten a hold of Roddy yet, they're settling for me.

Don't blame me for not trying on that one, either. I've called him, like, eight times and left four voicemails telling him to get his ass to the hospital as fast as he can. I'm not surprised he isn't here, but I am angry. He claims he "cares" for Liz, but he sure as hell doesn't show it. Not as far as I've seen or heard.

I tap my foot on the tile impatiently, trying to stay calm. What's going on? Is Lizzy okay? Of course she's not, but is she alive at least? My gaze keeps moving to the nurses' station, praying someone will come and tell me _something_. After what seems like an eternity, a doctor comes over and asks to speak to me.

"What's up, doc?" I ask. I know I sound frantic, but I have to know. "Is... Is Lizzy..."

"She's in critical condition. The accident did a number on her body, as well as sent her into premature labor."

Oh shit. The baby. I'd forgotten. "What does that mean, is the baby alive?"

"Yes, the child is alive and has been taken to intensive care. It's a very touchy situation, though. Survival rates for a birth this early are only fifty percent."

I blink hard, remembering everything Lizzy ever told me about her hopes and reams for her baby. "Can you tell me one thing?"

"I don't know," the doctor says honestly.

"Is it a boy?"

The doctor shakes his head and gives a sad smile. "It's a girl."

I run a hand through my hair. A girl. If that kid doesn't make it... Lizzy's gonna be devastated. The doctor says a few more things, telling me that Liz is still in surgery... possible brain damage... internal bleeding. I barely hear it. I manage to thank him and fall back into my seat. Toni says something about he and Emma taking Lovi and Feli home now... Matt stays quiet beside me. I think I've gone into shock. All I can think about is Lizzy... Lizzy, and a precious little girl called Annie, who are both fighting for their lives at this very moment.

* * *

_So, Annie Are You OK_  
_ Are You OK Annie_  
_ Annie Are You OK_  
_ So, Annie Are You OK_  
_ Are You OK Annie_  
_ ~Smooth Criminal by Michael Jackson_

* * *

_**In case you don't speak fluent Google Translate- I mean... Spanish and Italian... *whistles nonchalantly***_

_Su hermano mayor - Spanish - Your big brother  
Ti senti bene? - Italian - Are you okay?_  
_E 'colpa mia! Tutta la mia colpa... - Italian - It's my fault! All my fault..._  
_Sono qui, non piangere - Italian - I'm here, do not cry._

* * *

_**I don't... really have anything to say here. So I won't say much. Questions? PM me. Reviews? Post 'em up. Death threats? Facebook me.**_

_**Will update soon.**_

_**-Jack**_


	14. Chapter Thirteen: Look Who Showed Up

It must be almost six before my cell phone rings. It startles me a little. I pull it out of my pocket and check the caller id. Well look who finally decided to check in.

"Hello?"

I immediately have to pull the phone away from my ear because of all the yelling coming from the other end of the line. "Yo, Roddy. Roddy! Halt die Klappe, Edelstein!"

A pause. A forced calm. "What kind of stunt do you intend to pull on me, Beilschmidt? Leaving all these insane messages on my cell phone? What is going on?"

"It's not a stunt," I grit out. My anger surges inside of me when I hear him try to value outwitting me over concern about his _wife_. "There was an accident."

"What sort of accident?" He has the decency to at least act a little bit concerned now.

"Long story that hasn't been all sorted out yet," I say quickly. "But you should get down here anyway."

"What's going _on_, Gilbert? Is Lizzy all right?"

"No," I say sharply, and end the call there. I suck in a deep breath and try to think of one reason not to kill the bastard the next time I see him. Only one comes to mind.

I tap my cell phone on the arm of the chair and frown at the hideous pastel painting on the wall across from me. I'm getting real tired of not being in the loop. I haven't heard anything about Lizzy or Annie for hours. Or so it seems. Time sort of gets lost in hospital waiting rooms.

I jump when something touches my arm. I relax a little when I realize it's Matthew. I thought he'd left, and say as much to him.

"No, I went to get coffee," he says, holding out a cup. I'm too jittery for coffee, but it gives me something to do with my hands. I shove my phone back in my pocket and take the Styrofoam cup from him. "I brought you something to eat, too. They didn't have much in the cafeteria."

Though my stomach twists violently at the thought of food, I peer inside the bag he hands me. I avoid the blueberry scones and pull out half a turkey sandwich. I take two bites and wrap it back up and put it in the bag. Matt looks at me worriedly. "You doing okay?" he asks quietly.

I think about nodding, but really, what will it do to lie? "Not really."

Matthew sits down beside me and falls quiet.

"Thanks Birdie," I murmur.

"Not a problem, Gil," he tells me.

* * *

_But oh,  
I'm staring at the mess I made  
I'm staring at the mess I made  
I'm staring at the mess I made _

_~The Mess I Made by Parachute_

* * *

"_So what do you really think about all this, Liz?"_

_A sigh. "A lot of things."_

"_Initial reaction?"_

"_Why me? How am I supposed to do this? I don't want this."_

"_And now?"_

"_And now..." A deep breath. "Now I do. I think I can. I think... I have to. I think this is... a godsend. I mean... everything has changed with this baby. My relationship with Roddy. My purpose in life."_

"_How has that changed?"_

"_I have one now." Another deep breath. "This baby... is going to change my life. It already has. I can't let anything happen to it. I won't. She isn't going to end up like I did. I swear she won't."_

"_I don't think you ended up so bad, Liz."_

_A wry laugh marks the end of the conversation._

* * *

_Should've held my ground _  
_I could've been redeemed _  
_For every second chance _  
_That changed its mind on me _  
_I should've spoken up _  
_I should've proudly claimed _  
_That oh my head's to blame _  
_For all my heart's mistakes _

_But oh, I'm staring at the mess I made _  
_I 'm staring at the mess I made _  
_I 'm staring at the mess I made_

_~The Mess I Made by Parachute_

* * *

I'm feeling too dead tired for this shit. It takes a lot of effort for me to haul my gaze up and glare at Roddy. "Look who finally showed up."

"Where is someone who can tell me what is going on? Excuse me! Can someone please inform me-"

"Einfach die klappe, Roddy," I mutter, a little louder than I intend to. "Just shut. The fuck. Up."

His livid gaze falls on me. I don't know what _he's_ pissed for. I only called him seventeen times to try to tell him what was going on. "You have one minute to tell me exactly what is going on, Beilschmidt. Start now."

I huff out a laugh that's devoid of humor. "Look at the big man, giving orders. I'll tell you if you care enough to listen."

"Where is Elizaveta?"

"Still in surgery as far as I've heard," I inform him, collapsing back in the plastic chair. "They don't tell me much because I'm not next of kin."

A triumphant gleam in his eye nearly sends my fist through his face. "What happened?"

"Accident," I tell him. I let my voice go hollow, trying to detach myself from the reality of it. "Feli ran out in front of a car. Didn't see it. Lizzy pushed him out of the way. Doc says if it had been Feli, we'd already be planning a funeral. Even as it is, we still might end up planning two." I wince at the last part of my own words. Though they are true, I hate thinking that way. I've been trying not to all day. It hasn't been working all that well.

"The child is alive?" Roddy catches on a little faster than I had.

"Congratulations," I say, but there is no feeling whatsoever behind my words. "You're a daddy."

Roddy finally seems to show a little emotion. He looks... how to describe it? Surprised and overwhelmed and maybe a little bit... oh god no. I must be hallucinating. I've never seen Roddy look _happy_ about anything other than new sheet music. "I have a son?"

I come up out of my chair. "No," I say, loudly and firmly. "It's a girl. You have a _daughter._"

Roddy's face doesn't make much change, but the light of joy in his eyes disappears almost instantly. I scoff and turn away. "You're such an arrogant, self-centered bastard."

"Excuse me? Coming from the man who up and left the damn country, leaving behind the woman he claimed to 'love'?" Roderich scoffs. "For someone who comes touting the praises of _love_ and all its company, you certainly had no such-"

"Stop _right_ there."

The tone in my voice is deadly cold. Roddy falters and goes silent. I spin slowly on my heel and lock my gaze with his. "If you are going to stand there being all self-righteous and hold over my head choices I made when I was eighteen years old, you will know the feeling of my fist breaking your nose."

Roderich gives me an arrogant smirk. "What a childish threat. I believe you already delivered on that one. What was it...ten years ago?"

I almost smile. Satisfaction surges through me as I remember the one time I didn't control my anger. Of course, what twelve-year-old boy on a playground does? "Care to relive the moment?"

The smirk disappears. "No thank you. You should really go home. You look terrible." Disdain paints his gaze as he trails a very obvious look down my form and back up again. "If you will please excuse me, I am going to see what I can find out from people who may be better informed than those looking like hobos more than construction workers."

My fists clench at my sides and I take a step toward the bastard. A hand catches my shoulder and stops me though. "Seriously Matt, you should go home. You've been here as long as I have, and you've never even met Lizzy."

"I'll only if you'll leave too," he says.

I shake my head. "I can't. Lizzy..."

"There's nothing you can do for her sitting here like this. I'll drive you home. Take a shower, get some clean clothes... your chair will still be waiting when you get back."

I look down at the floor. He has a point. "I'm afraid that if I leave..."

"That she won't be here when you come back?" Matt finishes softly.

I can only nod in response. I don't trust my voice not to crack at this point.

"Don't think that way, Gil. Think positively. When you come back... maybe she'll be awake. And you can talk to her. Maybe when you come back, they'll let you see that little baby, eh?"

I have been dying to see Annie. Some part of my subconscious reminds me that she doesn't actually have a name yet... but to me, she will always be Annie. And I have to see Lizzy's little girl. Even... even if it's just one time.

"Let me drive you home, eh?" Matt's soft voice breaks through my thoughts.

I relent finally, promising myself I'll be back in an hour.

* * *

**_Too lazy to copy-paste the German, but Gil's basically telling Roddy to shut up. Twice.  
_**

_**I really hate writing the scenes between Gilbert and Roddy. It's too hard to convey all the mutual**_** hatred_ the two have for each other._  
**

**_I'm writing pretty fast here, guys. I finally have the downtime I could have sworn I would get as soon as the semester ended. I probably won't update tomorrow though. I'm hanging with my girl and have a very important football game to watch. So don't hold your breath hoping for an update tomorrow. One can only write a chapter every day for so many consecutive days. Sunday is a very real possibility, though.  
_**

**_Until next time,  
_**

**_-Jack_**


	15. Chapter Fourteen: Not My Little Brother

The small, warm body shuddering beside me is what's bugging me. At least at the moment. He isn't even really bugging me, he's just got me worried. Really worried, because this little kid asleep beside me can't be my little brother. No way in hell. My brother doesn't go this long without smiling.

_From: Lovino  
Message: Toni you wanna clue me in on wth is going on?_

I shoot the text into space and mentally shout at Toni to respond fast. I carefully lie on my side on the bed beside Feli and absently run my fingers through his hair. It feel just like my own, but the color is lighter. I don't even care if I look like a pansy right now, this is my brother and damn it I love him. If I can do anything to make him stop crying and talk to me right now, I will do it. Even if the tomato bastard finds out and gives me shit for the rest of my life. Feli's more important right now.

I still have no idea what the hell even happened. One minute I'm in my room doing homework and waiting for Toni to text me like he does every day after he gets off of work, and the next minute Emma's in my room all pale-faced and freaking out, saying we've got to go to the hospital and pick up my kid brother. I automatically assumed that it was Feli in the hospital. Natural assumption, right? But apparently not.

We get to the hospital and find Toni and two of the guys he works with and Feli in the _waiting room_ of the hospital. Feli pretty much tackled me when I got there, and starts sobbing this shit about how it's "All his fault". He hasn't said anything else. And he hasn't said any of it in English. That's a definite sign that something's wrong with him. We both have habits. Everyone does. Mine is that I speak Italian when I'm pissed off. Feli's is that he speaks Italian when he's scared. Really, really, _really_ scared.

So when my brother wouldn't stop sobbing that it's his fault and wouldn't loosen the death grip on my neck, I just picked him up and carried him out to the car. Toni came back to the house with us, too, but I was too concerned about Feli to actually care about what the tomato bastard was doing. I took Feli straight up to my room where I could keep an eye on him.

_From: Tomato Bastard  
Message: Too hard to explain in txt lovinito. Come downstairs when Feli is asleep_

I frown at my phone and look back down at my brother. He's been asleep for several minutes now, but I don't want to wake him by moving too much. He's a pretty heavy sleeper, though, so I probably don't have to worry much. And I need to know what's going on. I carefully roll off the bed and onto my feet, watching Feli for signs of him waking up and going into another sob-fest. He stays asleep, tear-stained trails running down his cheeks and one hand mashed up under his chin. I quietly slip out the door and down the stairs, hoping Feli stays asleep for a while.

Toni, Jan, and Emma look up when I enter the living room. Toni doesn't even smile when he sees me. "So who died?" I ask, as more of a joke than anything. I mean the way everyone's asking, something pretty tragic happened. But when Emma lets out a sob and buries her face in Jan's arm, I know I've said the wrong thing. Jan frowns at me and Toni quickly corrects me.

"No one died, Lovinito, not yet."

Another sob from the direction of the apparently PMSing blonde I call my guardian. Toni winces. "Pero, that is not to say that she _is_ going to die. Please, Emmy, don't cry."

Emma tries to compose herself and lifts her head. Her green eyes are rimmed in red and still swollen with tears. "I'm sorry," she whispers in the general direction of Toni. "I just can't... I can't believe... Eliza." Emma's face crumples and she puts her face in her hand, her shoulders wracking with a sob.

"Shh, Emmy, por favor no llores. I am sure Eliza will be fine. She is muy fuerte, I am sure. The way you and Gilbert speak of her, she must be made of iron!"

Emma nods, tears still rolling down her face. "I thought she was," I hear her whisper. "Poor Eliza..."

I furrow my brow, still insanely confused. "Eliza? Like... Our cousin, Eliza?"

"Si, si, Lovinito," Toni says, motioning for me to sit down. I cross my arms and remain standing. After realizing I'm not going to sit, Toni puts his elbows on his knees and starts to explain. "There was an accident today. We're not exactly sure what happened, because Jan and Gil only saw the few seconds around the accident from across the block and Feli isn't talking. Pero, Feli darted out into traffic in front of a car. He didn't move and the car didn't see him, pero Eliza pushed him out of the way and got hit by the car herself."

So that explains why Feli said it was "his fault".

"Feli hasn't told you anything about what happened earlier today, tiene que?"

"He hasn't said anything since we left the hospital," I say absently. "And even then it was just "It's all my fault" over and over again. I mean you heard him, right? He's hysterical. Yeah, Feli's always been a little weird about crying and stuff, but... this is bad."

"Si, it is," Toni says gravely. "He uses Italian when he's upset, no?"

I nod. "But not just upset. Seriously scared. I haven't seen him like this since... since Mamma died."

I realize that Emma's watery eyes are locked on me. "If he tells you anything, will you let us know?"

"Sure," I say. "And I'm sure once he wakes up, he'll be okay. I mean... Eliza isn't going to die or anything, right? Once we tell him she's okay, he'll be back to his usual self."

Silence greets me instead of the confirmation I'd been expecting. I'm a little bit horrified. "Holy shit... is she going to die?"

"We don't know yet," Jan says, breaking the silence when no one else will. "Her kid probably won't make it. Don't know how it would, with a hit like that."

"Cálliate, Jan," Toni says harshly. "Miracles happen every day."

Jan just shrugs and gets to his feet. "I'm going out for a smoke."

Emma excuses herself then, too, and I'm left standing in the living room facing Toni. Finally, his smile appears and I'm lost in it. "You okay, Lovinito?" he asks tenderly.

"Sure," I say quickly.

"Are you worried about Feli?"

I pause for a second and find myself sitting down on the coffee table in front of Toni. Our knees almost touch. "Yeah. I've always worried about him," I admit. "Ever since Mom died, I'm all he's got. And I can't be with him to protect him."

"Si, it is a touchy spot," Toni says softly. "Pero you are still very good about keeping in touch with him, no? You are un hermano mayor muy bueno." He smiles at me and I feel that weird feeling inside my chest that I get whenever he does that.

"Shut up, bastard," I mutter, though I'm certain my cheeks color at the compliment. "You know I don't speak Spanish."

"You do too, Lovinito!" he says.

"Not _well_," I correct. Actually, I understand it perfectly, but Toni's constant teasing about the pronunciation has made me shy to speak it myself.

"Ah, pero you understood what I said!" Toni grins cheerfully until I begrudge him a smile.

"Whatever, bastard," I tell him. "I should to check on Feli."

"You do that," Toni's grin fades into a warm smile. "Muy bueno hermano, Lovinito."

I roll my eyes and push myself off the coffee table before I can talk myself into staying with Toni. He makes my insides feel weird. I'm pretty sure I'm in love with him, but I don't know why. I'm only seventeen. I'm not old enough to be in love, right? Besides... he's a guy. I'm a guy. So what if Antonio is eighteen and handsome and perfect and likes tomatoes as much as I do? I like girls. You know, boobs and skirts and high heels? Why do I have to be gay for the one stupid bastard who eats tomatoes the same way I do? It's a fucking fruit! Everyone should eat them whole!

I stop at my bedroom door to stifle my inner rantings before I push it open. Feli is still curled up on the bed, but he is just beginning to stir. One hand comes up to rub at his eyes like he always does in the morning. His eyes blink open and find me, but he doesn't smile. "Fratello?"

"Hey," I say, and move to sit on the edge of the bed. Feli scoots over and cuddles against me, but at least he isn't crying anymore. "You all right?"

He shakes his head. "E 'colpa mia," he whispers.

"It's not," I say, firmly but gently

"You don't know what happened," he whispers, switching back to English like me. "I had a fight with Miss Liza, and then she got hurt. She got hurt really bad, Lovi, I just know it, because she was laying on the ground and she was bleeding and Mister Gilbert was talking to her in German and he looked really scared, as scared as I felt, and everyone was rushing and they took her away in a big ambulance with the lights and the sirens and it was so scary, Lovi, and it's all my fault because I didn't listen to her and I didn't wait for her to hold my hand and look both ways before I crossed the street." Feli finishes with a sob, his fingers clutching my cotton t-shirt with a death grip.

"So you had a fight with Eliza?" I ask, just for clarity. Feliciano likes to ramble. His explanation was a little hard to follow, and he kept switching between English and Italian. While I'm fluent in both, as well as in "Feliciano-ese", it's still a little tough to make sure I caught everything. "And that's why you think it's your fault?"

"E 'colpa mia," he repeats urgently. "It is. It really is. And Mister Gilbert said that I needed to be an extra good boy from now on, because otherwise my baby brother will not learn how to be a good boy, and I forgot and I was a bad boy. So that's my fault," he finishes sadly. "I know it is."

"It was an accident, Feli," I tell him, rubbing circles on his back with my hand. "I'm sure Eliza will be okay. She's pretty touch, you know? Remember, she once hit cousin Francis on the head with a frying pan."

I think I hear Feli giggle. "She did that with Mister Gilbert, too," he says. "But I don't think anybody is supposed to know about that."

"Don't worry, I won't tell." _Anyone but Toni_, I finish silently. I tell Toni practically everything. He's like my best friend.

"Because you're good at secret-keeping," Feli tells me. "You're really good."

"Sometimes a little too good," I murmur.

"No, not _too_ good. You're just shy, Lovi."

"What the hell? I thought we were talking-"

"Antonio knows that you like him, Lovi. He does. He just wants you to tell him. Because he likes you back, but everybody knows that. That one isn't a secret. The one about you liking Antonio, that one is a secret."

"The fuck?"

"Don't say that, Lovi, because Miss Liza says it will rot your ears if you listen to too much swearing. At least for eight year olds. But your ears aren't rotten, and you talk like that all the time. How old do you have to be before you can say 'fuck' and not have your ears rot?"

I cover his mouth with my hand and feel my face flush. "Older than you," I tell him. "You have to be..." Damn. Am I seriously going to lie to my little brother? "You have to be seventeen... like me."

"Oh, okay," Feli says. "But I don't think I'll say it as much as you, even when I am seventeen. Is that okay?"

"That's fine," I say, allowing myself a little chuckle. "You are so crazy, Feliciano."

"Lovi?"

"What?"

"Is Miss Liza dead?"

"No, she isn't dead."

"Is she going to die later?"

I pause. "Maybe. But I think it will be a really long time from now, after she gets better and all that shit. I mean stuff."

Feliciano seems to relax a little bit. "That's good. I don't want Miss Liza to die because I was a bad boy. And Lovi?"

"What Feli?"

"What about my baby brother? Is he going to be okay?"

"I think he's gonna get better and grow up to be a good boy like his big brother, Feli." I rub my hand over Feli's soft hair. "Okay?"

He nods. "Okay. Thank you, Lovi. When can I go see Miss Liza?"

"I don't know," I tell him. "Maybe tomorrow. We'll see. Emma and Jan and Toni will let us know, okay? Hey, are you hungry?"

A pause. "Can I have pasta?"

I laugh. "I think we can find some pasta for you, Feli."

"Then I'm starving," he says, and I see a smile grace his face and a giggle escape his mouth. _There's my little brother_, I think. He'll be okay after all.

* * *

_**My gosh, I had WAY too much fun writing this chapter. That's probably why it's the longest fucking chapter in the whole fic.**_

_**Will update soon. Still hoping to finish this fic before I go back to school on the 14th.**_

_**-Jack**_


	16. Chapter Fifteen: Just Like Her Mutti

I wake up sprawled across my bed. I blink slowly, wondering where the pounding headache that usually accompanies a hangover is. Then I remember. I'm not hungover, because I'm not supposed to be here. I was supposed to shower, change into clean clothes, go back to the hospital. Somehow I fell asleep between the shower and the clean clothes. I bolt off the bed and pull on a pair of jeans laying on the edge of the bed. I'm halfway through the apartment, pulling my t-shirt over my head when I see Birdie. "Why'd you let me fall asleep?" I ask, yanking my head through the hole in my shirt. "I told you, I want to be there."

"You need sleep, Gil," he tells me. "I'll take you back right now if you want."

"I want," I tell him adamantly, accepting the coffee he gives me. I take a big gulp. It tastes sweet. Like... maple syrup. Weird. It tastes good, anyway. "Let's go."

Matthew agrees readily and immediately heads for the door. I blink at the bright sunlight outside. "Verdammt, how long did I sleep?"

"About thirteen hours," Birdie tells me. "I heard the shower turn off at about seven last night. After half an hour, I went to see if you were ready to go, and you were out. I knew you needed the sleep. I hope you're not mad."

"I'm not mad at you," I tell him as he pulls out of the parking lot of my apartment building. "I'm mad at me."

"Don't do that, Gil," he tells me softly.

I run a hand through my hair. "I'm freaking out here, Birdie," I tell him. "I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do, but I have to be there. I need her, Matt. I can't lose her."

Matthew sends a look of pity my way. "You love her, don't you?"

I nod without hesitation. "More than anything. Ever since we were kids, I've loved her. I need her back, because I need to tell her I love her."

"You've never told her?"

I pause. "I told her once, but I think it was in German."

I'm pretty sure if I had been looking at him, I would have seen Birdie smile. "You do have a habit of using that a lot."

I shrug. "I like German."

"As much as you like Lizzy?

"Almost."

We ride in silence for the few minutes it takes to get to the hospital. I rush inside to the waiting room and up to the nurses station. "Elizaveta Hedervery," I say quickly. The nurse asks me to spell it and I do so with waning patience.

"She's still in critical condition," the nurse tells me. "No visitors except those on the list of approved next-of-kin."

"I should be on the list thing," I tell her. "I'm a very close friend."

"What is your name?"

"Gilbert Beilschmidt," I tell her. And have to spell that as well.

"There's no one on this list except for Roderich Edelstein," the nurse tells me. A sick feeling wells up in my stomach.

"Is he even _here_?" I ask bitterly.

The nurse shakes her head. "No, he left at the end of visiting hours last night and hasn't returned. He told us to call him if anything changed."

I bite back a curse and the urge to slam my fist into something. I opt instead to run a hand through my hair. "Can I ask you one more thing?"

"Certainly."

"How is her daughter?"

The nurse gives me a look of sadness and a terrible feeling hits me like a ton of bricks. "I am afraid I can't tell you much about that. I can send you up to the newborn intensive care unit and they can give you more information. You said you're a close friend?" she asks.

I nod fervently.

"Close as in... a brother?" she suggests.

"I'm not her-"

"They're very, very close," Birdie cuts in. He and the nurse share a look and suddenly I get the feeling that there's some conspiracy going on here.

"Well in that case, I may be able to get you in to a visit with the baby," the nurse says. She gives me a careful look, then shares it with Matt. "For the uncle, that is. Only kin is allowed in the NICU."

Hope surges in my chest. If I can't see Lizzy, I can see her baby. I sure as hell know Roddy won't give a shit about the kid. I could tell as soon as he found out it was a girl that he no longer cared. But I care. I'll take care of Lizzy's baby until Lizzy can. "Where's that?"

The nurse gives me instructions and I practically run through the hallways toward the elevator. Birdie slips in just in time and we ride upstairs to the maternity ward. The unit in which we find Lizzy's baby is in the back of the maternity ward, and reserved for the very ill newborns. Matt tells the nurse at this desk that I am Lizzy's brother, and the kind looking nurse smiles, asks me a few questions, and asks me to follow her. I hear Matt telling me that he'll wait here, but I barely register it as I follow the nurse.

Suited up with an (awesome) blue gown thing and a mask and some gloves, I follow the nurse through a room full of babies. It isn't like the room full of babies that you usually see in the maternity ward, with them all wrapped up in pink and blue behind a glass window, with lots of proud dads looking on and pointing out which one is theirs. This room is smaller and quieter, and much more exclusive. There are probably about five cribs in the room, each one containing a very sick little baby, with tubes and wires surrounding them, and the occasional parent looking tired and worried at their side.

The nurse comes to a stop beside one of these cribs. Inside lays the most perfect baby I've ever seen in my life. She's wrinkled and red and looks a little bit like a mole rat, but I don't care. She's beautiful. Or she will be. I know it.

"This is the Hedervary baby," the nurse says, looking at a clipboard hanging from one end of the crib. "Surprisingly she didn't suffer too much injury from the crash. It's just complications of early delivery she's fighting through now. She's showing signs of being a fighter, though," the nurse tells me.

"She is," I say. "Just like her Mutti."

The nurse gives me a sympathetic smile. "You can remain in here if you would like. An hour in, then an hour out, until the end of visiting hours. Only one guest at a time though, and her parents will trump you. I'll have to ask you to leave if her father comes."

I know he won't, but I don't say this to the nurse. "I'll stay with Annie as long as I can," I tell her instead.

"Annie?" the nurse asks.

I nod. "Her name is Annie. Her mom told me."

"Well, I'll need her father to confirm that on her birth certificate, but it is good to know. You can talk to her. Maybe she'll learn her uncle voice by the time she gets out of here." With that, the nurse departs and leaves me with Annie.

"Hallo Annie," I say quietly, studying the tiny body curled up in the crib. "I guess I'm your Uncle Gilbert. I'm a really good friend of your Mutti. And a very strong enemy of your Vati. And I'm going to stay with you until your Mutti can meet you and take care of you, because she wouldn't want you to be alone."

The baby I speak to stays fast asleep, her chest rising and falling quickly. It's kind of weird. I think I already love the kid. I mean, I figured I would since it was Lizzy's kid, but there was always this tiny little reminder in my brain telling me that she's also Roddy's kid. In a perfect universe, she wouldn't exist, because Lizzy would be mine and Roddy would still be a virgin who jacks off to shitty classical music. But suddenly, it's okay that she does. I'm glad that she does. Annie is probably the only good thing that ever came out of Roddy's existence. So even though she's Roddy's kid, I love her.

I'm gonna make sure she's taken care of until her Mutti comes around.

* * *

_**I promise it's gonna get good again soon, okay? I needed a syrupy fluff chapter to set up the rest, okay? OKAY? HAVE PATIENCE.**_

_**Anyway, I can say all I'd like to that "oh, I'm gonna post a new chapter tomorrow, or maybe even two!" but really, let's be realistic here. I'm lazy. I'll admit to this. I'll be the first to admit to this. So really, you'll be lucky if I get the next chapter all written out AND posted tomorrow. I wouldn't hold my breath for two. But hey, who knows?  
**_

_**Review, bitte und danke, mein little fishsticks.  
**_

_**-Jack  
**_


	17. Chapter Sixteen: Almost A Good Day

_Would you shine a little bit brighter  
Climb a little bit higher  
Tell me would you shine for me  
Would you hope a little bit longer  
Sing a little bit louder  
Tell me would you shine for me_

_~Shine for Me by Camera Can't Lie_

* * *

It's mid afternoon and I've gotten kicked out of the NICU for the fourth time today. I spent as much time as I was allowed with Annie. I've been telling her stories about her Mutti. But, as charming as I am, the nurses have to stick to protocol. They'll let me come back in about forty-five minutes, but Nurse Kat told me I need to go get something to eat or she won't let me back in.

Downstairs in the cafeteria, I see a familiar face. I roll my eyes and frown. "Birdie, you said you were going home."

"I did," he tells me. "But I didn't figure you'd like to eat the crap they call food here, so I brought you lunch."

I raise an eyebrow at him. "How long have you been waiting down here?"

"Only a few minutes. I told Nurse Kat to make you come downstairs."

"I dunno, Birdie," I say as he hands me a container of Chinese food. "I think the nurses here like you more than they like the awesome me."

He smiles. "I don't know about that. So how you doing, Gil? How's Annie?"

"Awesome," I say. "It's so weird, Matt. I spent, like, all day talking to her about random shit. And she's practically still in fluid. I don't know if she understands a word of what I'm saying to her."

"In English or in German?"

"Both," I tell him, shoveling some noodles into my mouth with a fork. "Because she's gonna be awesome enough to speak English AND German." Birdie just smiles.

We make light conversation as we eat. Even though the nurses still aren't telling me anything about Lizzy, being with Annie has lifted my spirits. Nurse Kat even told me that they think Annie's gonna make it.

"By the way, Gil, I brought you your cell phone," Birdie says at one point. He pulls my phone out of his pocket and hands it to me. "So that you can call me when you need a ride home."

"Thanks Birdie," I tell him. I check my phone. There is a shitload of missed calls from West and my grandpa. "Oh shit, I forgot about West," I mutter, dialing the voicemail number and pressing my phone to my ear.

_"Gilbert, it is Ludwig. Are you here? My bus got in a little late, but I don't see you. Well, this message is to let you know that my friend Kiku is going to drive me home. I will see you later."_

_"Gilbert, it's Ludwig again. Where are you? I haven't heard from you yet. I asked Grossvater to take me to school today. Call me if you get these messages. I'm worried about you, Gilbert. I don't want you to leave again."  
_

_"Gilbert." _My grandfather's rusty old voice filters through the phone on the third voicemail. I wince internally. _"Where are you, young man? I had to take Ludwig to school myself today, because you were nowhere to be found. Call me when you get this. You'd better not be dead, or I'll kill you."_ He hangs up. I have to laugh.

"What was all that?" Birdie asks.

I shake my head. "I forgot about picking my brother up from school yesterday. I've got to call my granddad quick."

I slide out of my seat as I dial the number for my grandfather's house. It rings three times before his voice rumbles over the line. "Hallo?"

I automatically switch to German at the greeting. "Grandfather, it's Gilbert. Look, I'm sorry I didn't call there-"

"Are you all right, son?"

I hesitate. "Yeah. Fine."

"Where have you been the last two days? Your brother and I were worried sick. He was sure you'd up and left again."

"No, no, I didn't leave. I've been at the hospital-"

"THE HOSPITAL?" Grandfather spits a few German curses at me. "You said you were fine!"

"I'm not _in_ the hospital, I'm _at _the hospital," I tell him. "You remember little Lizzy Hedervary?"

"'Course I do."

"She was in an accident yesterday, right near my construction site. She isn't doing to hot, gramps, and I'm worried about her."

A short silence fills the line. "Well then. You always did fancy her I guess. One of the few choices you made that I could approve of. I wish her the best. I'll pick your brother up from school today, and we will discuss more later." He hangs up before I can say anything else, but just the idea that my Granddad didn't threaten to kill me or call me any number of names in our conversation (except for the hospital misunderstanding bit) has me thinking that just _maybe_ he isn't all that bad after all.

* * *

After we finish lunch, Birdie and I head back upstairs. I'm going to try and talk Nurse Kat into letting Matt see Annie, just for a minute. Matt isn't holding his breath for it, but I think we can do it. The nurses are wrapped around my finger, and Birdie's such a charmer. I think Nurse Kat has a thing for him.

"Hallo Nurse Kat," I say, grinning across the desk of the nurses station. "Can I ask you for an awesome favor before I go see my awesome niece?"

"If you're going to ask if Matthew can go in with you to see the baby, I'm going to have to say no," she tells me. "Besides... Shelly just took Mr. Edelstein in to see her a few minutes ago."

My body tenses up. "Roddy's here?"

Nurse Kat nods, not noticing my sudden change in mood. "Yes, he is. So you'll just have to wait. And if Matthew _really_ wants to see the baby, I can arrange a few minutes for him after Mister Edelstein vacates. But he has to go by himself."

I try my best to put a smile on my face, but it falls a little flat. Fortunately she doesn't seem to notice. "Thank you, pretty lady," I say with a wink, falling back with Matt to the line of chairs in the hallway.

Since Nurse Kat said that Roddy's only been in there a couple minutes, I'm expecting to be waiting for a while. I've barely sat down when the doors swing open and Roderich appears, looking pressed and perfect as always, pulling off his rubber gloves. His gaze falls on me and he looks bored. "Hello Gilbert."

"Roddy," I reply tersely. "What's the matter? Too much awesome in there to spend your whole hour with your _daughter_?"

He looks at me sharply. "Why would I spend an entire hour with an infant who may not even make it through the end of the day?"

My eyes narrow. "They think she's gonna pull through. Didn't they tell you that?"

"They did. They said Elizaveta may not be so fortunate."

My stomach twists. "What else did they say about Lizzy?" I hate having to ask him, but he's my only source of information about her.

"Don't you know all about her, too? They don't believe her _brother_ is important enough to share information with?"

I let my head fall back and hit the wall with a thud. "You took me off the next-of-kin list, Roddy. You know as well as I do that they aren't telling me anything about Liz. They're only telling me about Annie because you don't give enough of a shit about her to restrict me from _here_."

"Who is _Annie_?" he asks.

I lift my head and look at him. "Lizzy said if her baby was a girl, she wanted to name it Annie."

"Hmph. Well, I suppose it doesn't really matter, does it? We'll need a name for the birth and death certificates anyway. Annie it is, then."

My brain doesn't even register the action as I stand, take three steps, and punch Roderich Edelstein's arrogant little face in. Birdie lets out a soft yell and Roddy groans in pain, his hand coming up to clutch his jaw. I shake my hand a little to dispel the pain, but feel oddly satisfied.

Matt goes to Nurse Kat to get an ice pack, but neither he nor Roddy rat on me. In fact, only a few minutes later, with one hand holding an ice pack to his jaw, Roddy signs his name on Annie's birth certificate. Then he looks at me. "What did you say Elizaveta wanted her name to be, Gilbert?" He looks back at the nurse. "We wanted a boy so badly, we hadn't even discussed female names with each other. Her _brother_ here, however, did discuss it with her. So what was it, Gilbert?"

Slightly stunned and still trying to process the sight of Roddy actually being somewhat charming, I manage to sound clear as I say "Annie."

"Annie then," he says to the nurse. "Annette."

"A middle name?" the nurse asks. "And the last name? Is it Edelstein?"

"Hedervary," Roderich corrects. "And... Elizaveta."

Well that's an eloquent name. Annette Elizaveta Hedervary? Sounds like a mouthful. But whatever. I guess maybe it has a little ring to it. Definitely better than Annette Elizaveta Edelstein.

The nurse writes the name out on the birth certificate and puts it in a file. Then she smiles at Roddy and I. "Congratulations. And I hope very much that Annie's mother pulls through."

"Thank you very much, madam," Roddy says. He looks at me quickly as he walks away from the nurses station. "For now, Beilschmidt, I hope you are satisfied." Then he disappears down the hall toward the elevators.

"You okay, Gilbert?"

"Fine, Matt," I say. "What just happened?"

"You punched him in the jaw?"

"I mean after that. Was he like... civil toward me? And did he actually take my word that Annie was the name Lizzy wanted?"

"Yes."

I stand there, puzzling, staring after Roderich. Is it just because he really cares that little about his daughter that he was willing to let me name her and spent time with her? Does he really not think that she's going to make it, or is he just hoping that she doesn't? I don't know, and I might not ever know. So when Birdie tells me he's going home, and when Nurse Kat takes me to suit up and go see Annie, I let the thoughts go and tell myself that Roddy's not good enough to have such an awesome daughter as Annie.

* * *

_**You're so impressed that I posted this early in the day. ^_^**_

_**LOOK, HE FINALLY PUNCHED HIM! That's what Roddy gets for being such a pessimist. I had several readers request that I let Gilbert punch Roddy. My sister wanted him to go unconscious, but I thought it would be more fun to let Roddy wallow in his pain instead of drift into the happy land of unconsciousness.**_

_**Read, review, await the next chapter anxiously. It may or may not be up by tonight.  
**_

_**-Jack**_


	18. Chapter Seventeen: Secondhand News

"Gilbert, it's time."

I grin up at the nurse standing beside me. "Lookit, Kitty-Kat," I tell her. "I think we found Annie's favorite story-book."

Nurse Kat smiles down at the three-day old infant in the crib. Wide blue eyes that are already tinged with green are blinking at me. I sit beside the crib with a book in my hand. It's something I dug out from a box in my granddad's attic last night after the nurses kicked me out for the night. I remember West liking it when he was little. It's not a pansy little story book, either. It's got kick-ass fighting and dragons and this little dude who steps up and becomes like, a hero, against all the odds.

"That _is_ a classic," Kat tells me. "But it's time for your routine boot, Uncle Gilbert."

I stand and leave the book on the chair beside the crib. "I'll keep reading later, okay, Annie? Be a good girl."

Nurse Kat waves me out and I stride out to the waiting area with a spring in my step. I pull out my cell phone and turn it on to check for any messages. I always turn it off before I go see Annie, not just for hospital rules or anything either. When it boots up, there's a text message from Toni telling me that he's coming to the hospital at six, and that I should meet him in the main lobby. I check the time. It's just after six now. Birdie must have told them my schedule. It's weird thinking that this is already a schedule, and that said schedule revolves around a three-day-old baby who isn't even related to me. But I have to do something to keep my mind off of Lizzy, because Roddy won't let anyone tell me anything about her.

I head downstairs to meet Toni. He looks a little surprised when he sees me, and his normal smile goes into place. He probably wasn't expecting me to be in such a good mood. "Gilbert! Buenas noches, amigo! You are looking better than I expected. Mattie said that you were all right, but I did not expect... Well, this!" he grins at me in his usual Antonio cheerful way. "It is muy bueno to see." He holds up a paper bag. "I brought dinner."

"Thanks Toni, I'm famished," I tell him. "What'd you bring?"

"Enchiladas and Spanish fried rice," he tells me. "I was cooking for Jan, Emma, Feli, and Lovi anyway, so I figured I could bring some to you and spare you that terrible cafeteria food."

I laugh. "You know, I haven't even tasted it since the day of the accident? Birdie's kept me in take-out to spare me that."

"This is better than take-out," Toni teases. "Homemade, authentic Spanish food. It will taste like it's straight out of my abuela's kitchen."

"Hmm. Let's see about that," I say, snatching the bag out of Toni's grip and heading for the cafeteria. Once we find an empty table, Toni uncovers the steaming hot Spanish food and my mouth waters. "Oh mein gott, Toni, I love you," I tell him.

He laughs and hands me the container and a fork. "You just love me because I can cook. Don't worry, Emma and Jan do, too."

I chuckle around a mouthful of enchilada. "So why did you _really _come? I mean, you're a nice guy, but you don't strike me as the type to just go 'Hey, I think I'll take these leftovers to my pitiful German co-worker'."

Toni's smile fades a little. "Well, Emma brought Feli to see Eliza. Roderich said the little guy could see her for a few minutes, because he's so worried about her."

My heart constricts in my chest, but I'm beyond spewing my anger toward Roddy. "The dickwad won't even tell me how she's doing," I mutter, stabbing my fork into the enchilada.

"She woke up this afternoon," Toni tells me easily. "She seems to be on the road to recovery, from what Emma said that Roderich said. She didn't tell me much more than that, lo siento."

I nod, my chest settling in a little bit of relief. "So how's the squirt doing?" I ask. "Feli back to normal yet?"

"Just about," Toni tells me. "He and Lovi are enjoying each other's company, I think. Lovi wouldn't admit it, pero he's the over protective sort. Feli's been working on some secret project for the last two days, though. I think it's something for Eliza, because he wrapped it up in a pillow case and brought it here."

I only nod, because I'm still stuffing my face with Toni's amazing cooking. It sounds like something Feli would do. "Glad he calmed down," I say finally, after swallowing. "And I'm glad Roddy's letting _someone_ see Lizzy."

"Ah, don't take it too hard, Gilbert. He can't keep you away forever. Once she's moved out of critical care, she can have more visitors. And once she's home, things will go back to normal. Relatively," he adds. "How's that little baby doing?"

"Great," I say. "She already looks kinda like her Mutti."

Toni smiles. "Una pequeña belleza, no? A little beauty just like her Mama." I nod and go back to eating as Toni takes a call from his ringing cell phone. "Hola? Si, Lovi! No, I am downstairs in the cafeteria with Gilbert. Si, with _Gilbert_. Lovi, be nice. Pero you can come down! No, come down. Gilbert is still eating. No, I'm not going to ditch him just because you don't like him. You've never even met him, Lovi." Toni shoots me an apologetic look, but I'm already laughing. Toni adds something in random Spanish and I hear a shout over the line. He promptly hangs up. "Lo siento," Toni says. "Lovi is very... select... with people he decides to like."

I'm still laughing when Emma, Lovino, and Feliciano appear in the cafeteria and make a beeline for our table.

"Mister Gilbert!" Feli says, breaking into a smile and clambering up on the bench beside me.

"Hey-ya, Feli," I say, ruffling his hair a bit. "How ya doing?"

"I'm okay," he says, his voice going softer. "I saw Miss Liza today."

"Yeah? How's she doing?"

Feliciano studies the stray grain of Spanish rice on the table in front of him. "She looks kinda bad. With lots of wires and band-aids and bruises all over. She told me she's gonna be okay, though. And that I shouldn't think that it was my fault." I hear a sniffle from Feli and his brother glares at me, seating himself on the edge of the bench on the other side of Feli and wrapping an arm around him.

"She's right," I tell him. "It isn't your fault, buddy."

Another sniffle, and I see the brunette head beside me nod up and down. "Okay. Hey Mister Gilbert?"

"Yeah, buddy?"

He looks up at me and beckons me to follow him. He pulls his brother's arm off of him and scurries over to an empty corner of the cafeteria. That's when I notice the sack he's dragging behind him.

"What's up, Feli?" I ask, joining him on the other side of the cafeteria.

"I made something for you," he tells me, setting his striped pillowcase on a clean table and reaching inside. He pulls out a large sheet of paper taped to what I think is cardboard. "It's a picture that I painted. I copied it from a picture I borrowed from Miss Liza." He turns the board around so that I can see it.

In almost perfect lines and with crisp coloring that I had no idea could come from an eight year old hand, is a picture from my past. A silver-haired teenager totes a laughing brunette on his back. In my opinion, the picture should be in the dictionary beside the definition of 'happiness'. I reach out and brush my fingers over the image of a young Lizzy and myself. It reminds me of everything I loved about her. Everything I still love about her.

"You painted this?" My voice catches slightly, and I try to clear my throat. "It's awesome, Feli. You're really good."

"Thank you," he says quietly. "I painted it for you. I was going to give it to Miss Lizzy, but she has the real picture. I thought that you needed something to remind you of back then, too."

I swallow hard and look down at the serious face Feliciano has turned on me. "Thank you. Very, very much."

"Mister Gilbert? I know that I probably shouldn't ask this kind of question, especially since... well, never mind."

"No, what were you going to ask, Feli?"

"Do you love Miss Liza?" he asks. "Because I think that you would be a better husband for her than Cousin Roderich." He bites his lip, sure he's going to be reprimanded.

"I do, buddy," I tell him honestly. "I love her a lot. But she has Cousin Roddy, so we'd better keep that between us for now, okay?"

Feliciano nods. "I think she'd be happier with you, though. She used to be."

I don't have a response for that one.

* * *

_**I HAVE RUN OUT OF STUPID CHAPTER NAMES.  
**_

_**Ten AWESOME points to anyone who can tell me what book Gil's reading to Annie. :3**_

_**Lookit me, updating so fast. It won't last. OTL**_

_**-Jack**_


	19. Chapter Eighteen: The Untitled Chapter

Everything hurts. I could go into detail, but listing every body part I have would just take too long, and it wouldn't do much for the headache I have.

Painkillers, sure. I'm positive that if I didn't have any, it'd be a whole lot worse. Still, I'm sore and I'm crabby and I'm in a very, very bad mood, for several reasons. One, because the only person I've seen aside from nurses in the last twelve hours is Roderich. Well, I did have about a five minute visit from Feliciano and Lovino, but Feli spent most of the time with his head buried in Lovino's shoulder. Just before he left, he handed me an envelope. Inside was a picture of Gilbert and myself, one that he had borrowed shortly after Gilbert's return to town.

Missing Gilbert makes my heart hurt. Roderich told me he hasn't been to see me since the night of the accident, which apparently was four days ago. It stings a little to think he isn't concerned about me. At least, not concerned enough to come visit.

I also haven't heard much news about my baby. Roderich says it looks like she is going to be okay. My heart sunk a little when I heard it was a girl. I know Roderich will be disappointed. But another part of me is glad. I have a little girl to take care of. I can't wait until I get to meet her.

The nurses tell me I can meet her soon. As soon as I can stay awake for more than half an hour at a time. I've been trying really hard, but I'm just so tired. I don't know why. Didn't I just sleep for the better part of two days? Sleep claims me anyway, making my brain foggy and my thoughts unclear. The last thing I see before I let my eyelids go closed is the picture on the table beside me, of two teenagers playing in the autumn leaves.

* * *

"It isn't our place, Meimei!"

"Oh, Kat, don't you think something's going on there?"

"Well, sure I do, but really it isn't any of our business. Mei, are you even listening to me?"

"No."

Nurse Kat frowned and placed her hands on her well-rounded hips. "Mei!"

"Kat," Nurse Mei countered, tilting her head so that her long, black ponytail swung to one side. "That man has been here for the last four and a half days. He goes home when we kick him out, and he's back as soon as we will let him in. He spends every spare moment he can in the Nick-U, and-"

"Lots of parents spend all their time in the Nick-U," Kat came back.

"He isn't a parent," Mei pointed out.

"He's her uncle," Kat said, thinking it was close enough.

Mei rolled her eyes. "He isn't her uncle, Kat. Have you seen the way he looks when he asks for news of the mom? That isn't the way my brother looks when he asks a question about me. Does your brother do that?"

Kat shook her head. "No, I guess not."

"Besides," Mei added. "Hedervary, I assume, is her maiden name, because her husband's name is Edelstein. Plus, Gilbert punched that Edelstein guy right in the jaw."

"What does _that _have to do with anything?"

"I can't tell you _why_ I have this feeling, Kat, I just _do_! He is not related to her, but he _does_ have a thing for her. Why else would he care so much about one little baby girl?"

Kat couldn't formulate a response to that. Meimei seemed to be jumping to conclusions, but Kat couldn't deny that there was something that seemed a little off about the whole thing. Maybe Mei was right. Or maybe Mei was just being Mei and assuming everything meant something other than what it did. She loved playing matchmaker, and was a sucker for romance. Kat knew that even if she pointed out -again- that the Hedervary woman was already _married_, that Mei wouldn't listen. Mei rarely listened.

But Kat knew one thing for sure. The man who had spent the last two days reading to a little baby girl in the NICU was something else. Uncle or not, he was adorable. Whoever Gilbert Beilschmidt was to the Hedervary woman, she was one lucky girl.

* * *

_Matchmaker, Matchmaker,  
Make me a match,  
Find me a find,  
catch me a catch  
Matchmaker, Matchmaker  
Look through your book,  
And make me a perfect match_

_Matchmaker, Matchmaker,  
I'll bring the veil,  
You bring the groom,  
Slender and pale.  
Bring me a ring for I'm longing to be,  
The envy of all I see._

_~Matchmaker from Fiddler on the Roof_

* * *

An unfortunate turn of events, to be sure. I was really hoping for a boy. And when I was not granted that wish...

I am not sure what it was inside me that snapped. It could simply be my interest. It is tiring, all this hospital nonsense. Everyone seems to expect me to be distraught and fawning at Elizaveta's bedside, or worried for the child and spending every spare moment I can with one of the two. Please. I have much bigger things to worry about.

The day of the accident, I just so happened to be in a very important meeting with a very important man. This man offered me a position at a concert hall in Vienna. This position is the chance of a lifetime. The position I have aspired for since I was a child. My talents finally on showcase, getting the respect and attention they should, instead of being stuffed into a job that utilizes none of my full potential.

I fully intend to take the position. Elizaveta's health puts things on the edge, though. The position in Vienna begins on the first of the month. Two weeks away. She will by no means be prepared to travel by then. I will have to make arrangements. I will not sacrifice this position for her. It is far too important. Not just to myself, but to Vienna!

To the world.

* * *

The world got so much brighter today. Today, I got to hold Annie.

For almost an hour, I got to hold Lizzy's baby in my arms. I think both of us were okay with laying aside our copy of "The Hobbit" for that hour. As much as Annie loves the story (I can tell, okay?), I just couldn't stop staring at her. She's amazing. She's fucking perfect.

She's the tiniest thing you ever saw. All curled up and wrapped in a pink cotton blanket, with a tiny pink hat on her head that's still too big even though it's practically folded in half. She has ten tiny fingers and ten tiny toes, and she has blue-green eyes laced with the darkest eyelashes I've ever seen. A little button nose and a rosebud mouth. I'm positive she'll start smiling soon. She's close, I can tell. And when the elves started pissing off the dwarves in Rivendell, I swear she almost started laughing. Not joking.

Well maybe I'm exaggerating just a little. But she's an awesome little babe. Almost as awesome as me. After all, she's learning from the best.

I held her for almost an hour, before Nurse Kat kicked me out. It's a routine now, and I felt like I was on cloud nine anyway, so it doesn't even bug me anymore. I swear, I feel so high. I never felt a buzz like this from anything I ever smoked in Europe.

I can't believe that Roddy hasn't even spent five minutes with her yet. I don't understand how he can stay away.

* * *

_Matchmaker, Matchmaker,  
Plan me no plans  
I'm in no rush  
Maybe I've learned  
Playing with matches  
A girl can get burned  
So,  
Bring me no ring  
Groom me no groom  
Find me no find  
Catch me no catch  
Unless he's a matchless match._

_~Matchmaker from Fiddler on the Roof_

* * *

**_The Hobbit. What an epic story to read to a baby, eh? Fuck yeah. I know I'm sure as hell reading that to my kids as a bedtime story._**

**_Anyway, I'm sorry if Ukraine and Taiwan are OOC. I was just trying to think of countries who could be nurses. I can picture Ukraine as a nurse. Taiwan was more of a last ditch resort. Oh well. I can see Taiwan playing matchmaker, though, and Ukraine being all, you know, Ukraine about it._**

**_I'm done talking now. On with your regularly scheduled lives._**

**_-Jack_**


	20. Chapter Nineteen: Meddling Mei - Part 1

"Mei, we just got a call from downstairs. One of us is supposed to go down and bring Ms. Hedervary up to meet her daughter." The round nurse bit her bottom lip. "Do you want to kick Gilbert out, or should I?"

A slow smile spread over Mei's face. "What call?"

"The one I just took," Kat said, looking at Mei strangely.

Mei tried to put a look of confusion on her face, but it ended up looking more conspiratorial. "I didn't get a call."

"Mei, I-"

"Kat!" Mei said finally in exasperation. She stepped close and took Kat by the arm. "I know you're a little slow on the pick up sometimes, but just try to bear with me here. Gilbert is in with Annie. Ms. Hedervary is on her way upstairs to see Annie. Who has Gilbert been asking about since he got here last Thursday?"

Kat thought for a moment, and Mei rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Kat. He wants to see Ms. Hedervary, and I think he should get to. I mean," Mei looked behind her and lowered her voice to a whisper. "That prick Edelstein is up to no good. And I haven't met him more than twice. But that man in there," Mei pointed toward the door behind which somewhere there sat Gilbert Beilschmidt and a tiny baby girl he called his niece. "That man is a good man. And I would bet _anything _that he isn't her brother." Mei's grin reappeared on her face. "I'll bet he's in love with her."

"Mei, really, haven't you learned anything about jumping to conclusions?"

Mei huffed a sigh and put her hands on her hips. "I conclude that I don't like the Edelstein guy, and I conclude that I _do_ like Gilbert and Ms. Hedervary. I also conclude that these conclusions are probably pretty close to the truth, so just keep quiet Kat. I'm going to give Gilbert what he wants, even if it's just for a minute and even if I get a lecture from Natty about it. I'll go get Ms. Hedervary."

Kat watched as Mei left to go downstairs and sat down at the desk. Well... maybe it wouldn't hurt. Just this one time. Kat bent her head over her paperwork and hoped that Mei's "conclusions" were pure speculation made out of an overt desire to match-make.

* * *

_I want to return but all you will do is turn to leave  
If I can find my way home will you take hold of me?  
Cause I've been gone so long  
I can barely say  
All I know is now I want to stay  
Has it been too long since I went away?  
Cause I'm trying to find the words but I can barely say_

_~I Can Barely Say by The Fray_

* * *

I wait anxiously in the quiet room. They told me that I will get to meet my baby today. I can't wait. It is the moment I've been positively aching for since I woke up. A loud knock breaks the relative silence and makes me jump. A pretty Asian nurse with a long, black ponytail and flowers on her scrubs opens the door. I smile, remembering her from the other day, when she came down to give me an update on my daughter. "Hello again, Ms. Hedervary," she says with a bright smile. "I'm Nurse Mei. I've come to bring you upstairs. I hear there's someone up there you've been wanting to see."

"I am so excited," I tell her.

The nurse laughs softly. "Excellent. Well, let's get you up there."

After a few moments of careful maneuvering, I am settled into a wheelchair that Mei produced and she is wheeling me out the door toward the elevators.

She makes a little bit of casual conversation, but I don't hear much of it. I'm so excited to see Annie, and also to be out of that hospital room for a bit. I haven't seen anyone except for Roderich and various nurses and doctors for the last two days. Mei's gentle voice follows along somewhere behind me as we go through the hallways. After we step off the elevators, I am greeted by the pastel pinks and blues and yellows and greens of the maternity ward. Nurses smile warmly at me as we pass, and I finally catch some of Mei's words. "All the nurses on my floor know about your situation. Most of them have heard about Annie, too, though only the nurses in my sector have the clearance to visit."

"Is it a very restricted area?" I ask.

"It is," the nurse behind me says. "But she has improved so much that we were able to move her out of the intensive care unit and into the step down. She will probably stay there a few more weeks, and then you can probably take her home."

I pause at the thought. Home. Back home to Roderich and Feliciano. But my mind goes back to something Roderich discussed with me during his visit last night. Home... could soon be in Austria. Home might not include Feliciano any more, because his brother wants custody as soon as he turns eighteen next month. Home has never really included Roderich in my opinion. So home... is myself and my daughter. Alone in a strange place while my husband makes his career his priority. It always has been, but now his career is more important. More time consuming. We will be virtually on our own.

"And here we are," Nurse Mei's voice cuts into my sober thoughts as she presses a button and two mechanical doors swing open.

A long sterile hallway greets me as Mei keeps rolling. A kind looking nurse with a generous bust comes out of a room and gives me a bright smile. "Hello. You must be the proud mother of this beautiful baby girl we've been taking care of."

I nod, a smile creeping back onto my face. "Thank you very much."

"You're most welcome. Of course, we haven't done all that much. Just cared for the superficial. The real difference is made with interaction. Holding the baby, talking to her, that kind of thing." The nurse bites her lip slightly and looks over my head at Mei.

"Kat, did you...?" Mei sounds frustrated.

Kat shakes her head. "No, they're in there. I'd better keep moving. Nice to meet you, Ms. Hedervary."

"Yes, nice to meet you," I say, watching as she moves into another room. I'm very confused.

"Okay, Ms. Hedervary, are you ready to meet your daughter?"

I nod. Mei pushes the wheelchair into movement again and turns into a room that seems more private. It doesn't seem like an actual hospital room, such as I have, but the room contains a chair and a crib and a counter on one end like in a clinical office. That isn't what catches my attention though. No. My attention is immediately captured by Gilbert.

Gilbert sits in the chair, his long legs splayed out in front of him. In the crook of one arm is a tiny bundle of pink blankets that I assume is my daughter. In his other hand is a book. _The Hobbit_. His deep, rich voice reads aloud in the quiet room. "It was at this point that Bilbo stopped. Going on from there was the bravest thing he ever did. The tremendous things that happened afterward were as nothing compared to it. He fought the real battle in the tunnel alone, before he ever saw the vast danger that lay in wait."

I am frozen by this beautiful sight. Roderich told me that Gilbert hadn't visited since the night I was brought in. I am confused, but something deep inside me stirs at this sight. The sight of Gilbert cradling my baby in his arms, reading to her, spending the time with her that I couldn't and that I know Roderich would never. I feel a tear roll down my cheek. I wonder why I am crying, but really, I know. Gilbert is everything that Roderich isn't. Gilbert is caring and wonderful and amazing and tender. He doesn't like people to know that, but he is, and I know this. If I had somehow missed this fact in all those years growing up, I would have realized it now. But now I just remember. I remember, and I wish with all my heart that Gilbert was my baby's father instead of Roderich.

"Knock knock," Mei says, tapping lightly on the door. Gilbert looks up, seemingly ready to protest, but then he freezes. His eyes land on me, and I know he is stunned that I am here. As stunned to see me as I was to see him. "Annie has a visitor, Uncle Gilbert.

Uncle Gilbert doesn't sound right. It should be Daddy. Uncle Gilbert makes sense, though. I am certain this is how he was allowed to visit my daughter. I am not angry. I am beyond happy that he could do this. That he _would_ do this.

Gilbert's eyes linger on me another moment before he looks down at the pink bundle in his arms. "Hey Annie," he says softly, and I almost choke on a sob. "Annie, we're gonna take a break from your story, okay baby? Your Mutti came for a visit today." Gilbert's eyes come back up and find mine, but he still speaks softly as if to the baby. "Remember what I promised you, Annie? That I would take care of you until your Mutti came."

"You did a good job, Gilbert," Mei says quietly, pushing my chair closer to the pair in the room. Only a foot or so separates my knees from Gilbert's. Mei engages the lock on the side so I won't roll away, then retreats toward the door. "If you need anything, Gilbert knows where to find us." Then Mei leaves and I am alone with Gilbert and my daughter.

* * *

_**The sequel to this chapter will be up later tonight. It's half written, and I was going to make it all one, but then I was like... well this chapter will be, like, three times longer than any of the other chapters if I make it all one. So it's two.**_

_**What do you think?**_

_**-Jack  
**_


	21. Chapter Twenty: Meddling Mei - Part 2

"Hello Liz," he says.

"Hello," I say. I am not sure where I found my voice, but it comes regardless.

"Here," he says, standing and taking the one step that separates us toward me. He looks down at the bundle in his arms before passing it to me with utmost care. "Meet Annie."

"Annie," I whisper, my eyes locking on the baby. "You remembered."

"Of course I did. Roderich took liberties with the birth certificate, but her name is Annie. Just like you said."

I nod quickly, fighting tears. "Thank you, Gilbert."

Gilbert doesn't respond for a long moment. He stares at the baby in my arms. "She's a pretty awesome little kid, Liz," he says finally. "She loves when you tell her stories."

"_The Hobbit_?" I ask, feeling a smile appear on my face as I admire Annie's tiny features. She is a beautiful baby. I am immensely proud.

"Of course. It's a kick-ass bedtime story. I had to pick something worthy of her awesome. She likes other stories, too," he adds.

"What other stories did you tell her?"

"Ours."

I look up at Gilbert and find his eyes back on me. My breath catches in my chest. "I told her all about you," he continues, those bright red eyes still focused on me. "I told her that someday, she'll grow up and be just as smart and beautiful and fun as her Mutti is."

I am lost in Gilbert's gaze. "Gilbert," I whisper.

He shakes his head and goes on. "It was my awesome pleasure to hang with her this week. It was all I could do, really. I couldn't see you, so I swore that I'd take care of Annie until you were okay again."

"Roderich told me that you never visited me," I say.

An unreadable look crosses Gilbert's face. "He's right, I didn't visit you."

So he admits it. As I was when Roderich told me, I feel a little hurt. After this newest revelation, though, I think there must be more to it than that. "It's Roderich's fault, isn't it?" I ask. "He wouldn't let you come see me."

Gilbert snorts, and I have my answer. "He wouldn't even give me a verdammt status update. He wouldn't even tell me if you were still alive. I figured out that you must be, though. And after the day Feli and Lovi came to see you, Toni's been telling me what he knows." His gaze never wavers as it holds mine. "I was really worried about you, Liz."

"You were there," I say. I don't remember him being there when the accident happened, but I think he must have been.

He nods. "It happened across the street from my construction site. I saw everything." He swallows hard and his gaze breaks off from mine and moves to the floor. He runs a hand through his silvery hair. "I was so damn scared, Liz. You have no idea. And I couldn't do anything. I couldn't do _anything_," he repeats, his voice cracking slightly.

I swallow hard and keep quiet, not that I could say anything if I tried. If Gilbert starts crying, then I will be helpless to stop. Heck, I started crying just seeing him holding my baby. I turn away from Gilbert and lay a sleeping Annie in the crib beside me, trying to use the time to compose myself. I sit back again and stare at my hands in my lap. I don't know what to say.

Gilbert leans foward and puts his elbows on his knees, looking up earnestly at me. "I saw Feli run out in front of that car. I saw the guy, he was texting or something. He never saw Feli. Then I saw you, and my heart stopped beating when you ran out in the road and pushed Feli away. When the driver looked up, saw you, and hit the brakes. It was too late, of course. I stayed with you until the ambulance got there. I was sitting there and all I could think was... Please don't leave me. You can't leave me... because I never got to tell you..."

He pauses to stand up, and puts his hands on the arms of my wheelchair, suddenly towering over me. His chest heaves, whether from emotion or something else, I don't know. I barely notice, because my own chest is thundering and I wonder if he can hear my heartbeat. I tilt my head back to look up at him, and suddenly he is there.

I feel Gilbert's lips crash against mine, warm and full and slightly chapped. The sensation is strange and wonderful, and at the same time I recall the last kiss I shared with Gil. My first kiss. It is nothing like the chaste kisses Roderich gives when he feels obligated to. This is Gilbert. He is fierce. He does everything with passion, courage, and confidence, and he kisses like it too.

When Gilbert begins to pull back, I push toward him, my lips seeking his. My mouth waters for more. He gives in and the kiss deepens. I part my lips to let him explore. Gilbert tastes like I remember. Like spicy sausage, and beer, and a hint of mint. It is strange, but I can't get enough. His hand finds the side of my face; I feel fingers weave through my hair. I bring my hands up to settle on his shoulders.

I feel a sob escape my throat. This is Gilbert. Gilbert, who I have loved for so long. Who I have always admired; for his bravery, confidence, strength, and freedom. And here am I: a piece of property belonging to another man. I can never have Gilbert; not so long as I am married to Roderich. My stomach turns at the thought of ever touching Roderich again after kissing Gilbert this way.

Gilbert pulls out of the kiss and I see those red eyes look upon me with concern. "What?" he asks softly, stroking my hair with gentle fingers. "Don't cry."

"I can't do this Gil," I whisper.

"Why?" Gilbert asks me. "Because of Roddy?" His tone goes icy whenever he mentions Roderich's name.

My eyes slide shut. I can only nod. Anguish sweeps through me. Roderich is nothing compared to Gilbert, in too many ways to count.

"Tell me you love him, Liz," Gilbert commands.

"I can't," I whisper.

"Then tell me you _don't_ love _me_." Gilbert doesn't move an inch from our close proximity, as if he knows he has just commanded the impossible. "Tell me you don't love me, and I'll never bother you again, Lizzy."

My eyes open and lock on his. "I can't do that either," I tell him. "Because I do. I love you," I say, the confession feeling like releasing a weight that has been hidden for for far too long. "I've loved you for the longest time. Since I was a teenager. You can't possibly know how much I wish I'd gone with you. That I'd never married Roderich. That I could have you, Gilbert. But I _didn't _go with you. I _married_ Roderich. And I _can't_ have you. I can't break my promise, Gilbert, no matter how badly I wish I could."

"You really love me?"

"Yes," I tell him. "Of course I do." After a moment of searching his face for any sign of emotion and being unsure of what I find there, I pull myself toward him and bury my face in his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Gilbert."

"Don't be. You've just told me the only thing I've ever wanted to hear from you." Gilbert gently takes my wrists and pulls me back so that he can look at me. "I've loved you since we were eight years old," he says slowly, carefully, assuredly. "Since the day I met a stubborn-assed, emerald-eyed girl with curls in her hair and an opinion on her lips." Gilbert paused, his lips meeting mine in another tender kiss. "Since I realized... that there was only one girl with enough fire... and yet patience... to put up with the awesome me." Gilbert kisses me every few words. I am helpless to stop it. I don't want to stop it. Finally, he pulls back, his hands on either arm of my wheelchair; his red eyes deadly serious. "I'm going to show that piano playing scheisskerl that he can't just take you for granted anymore. I swear, I won't let him get away with treating you like some possession that he can just have and forget about."

Once more, Gilbert's kiss leaves me breathless.

"Ich liebe dich, Lizzy," he whispers gently. "I love you. And I always have."

For once, I am not left assuming that Gilbert's German hides cursing. I know what these words mean. They will be forever imprinted on my memory. Gilbert loves me.

There is no more room for doubt.

* * *

_Well, I'm not sure what this is gonna be,  
But with my eyes closed all I see  
Is the skyline, through the window,  
The moon above you and the streets below.  
Hold my breath as you're moving in,  
Taste your lips and feel your skin.  
When the time comes, baby don't run, just kiss me slowly._

_~Kiss Me Slowly by Parachute_

* * *

"Kat!"

Kat looked up at the hiss to see Mei waving frantically from the doors across from the desk. Kat pushed herself up and walked toward her friend and co-worker. "What's the matter, Mei?"

"Come look!" Mei grabbed Kat by the wrist and pulled her through the doors and down the hallway. She pressed a finger to her lips to indicate that Kat needed to be quiet, then the used the same index finger to point through the little window in the door to the visitors room.

Kat glanced through the window and had to do a double take. Her eyebrows shot into the air. She spun on her heel and pulled Mei away. "Mei!"

"I was right!" Mei grinned triumphantly. "I told you! I am so _good_ at matchmaking!"

"Mei, you're invading the patient's privacy!" Kat told her in a hushed voice, still pulling her back toward the nurses station and far away from the couple in the visitors room.

"Oh, c'mon, Kat. They're so _perfect_ for each other!"

"You don't even know them!"

"Just look at them. They're adorable."

Kat had to admit they were pretty cute. "She's married," Kat said, trying half-heartedly to use this argument again.

"But to an asshole," Mei pointed out. Kat frowned disapprovingly at the term.

"It is _still_ none of your business, Meimei."

Mei kept a triumphant smile on her face. "I know, I know. Score one for Matchmaking Mei, anyway."

"More like Meddling Mei," Kat remarked, but she had to smile. "Now leave them alone. They deserve some privacy."

Mei grinned. "Oh trust me. I'm not going to be the one to invade that any time soon." Mei began slowly backing toward the unit to finish her rounds. "I should start a service. Mei's Matchmaking Miracles." Mei winked at Kat and spun around, disappearing through the doors and leaving Kat to chuckle at her meddling friend's antics. She had succeeded for now, but when faced with the cold truth, you had to consider the fact that Ms. Hedervary was married.

Even if she and Gilbert made a completely adorable couple.

* * *

_***Enter le squealing, grinning fanboy*  
**_

_**Whadd'ya think? It's kinda cliche, but I'm good at sappy, fluffy, over-cliched shit like this.  
**_

_**Dudes... in case you are interested, there is a playlist for this fic. I've been working on it for like a super long time, and got it up to date. Finally. I'll put a link to it in the prologue and on my profile, too, but here it is. Type in and then paste this after it:  
watch?v=B8UeeIAJ0a0&feature=share&list=PLUMC0wa5j0ZV-yyZkkcfmedV_53r8XVA2  
**_

_**-Jack**_


	22. Chapter Twenty-One: Can't and Won't

Even after the nurses sent Gilbert away – claiming he needed to go eat or he'd keep looking like a skinny little teenager – and even after I said goodnight to Annie and went back to my own room, this past afternoon was all I could think about. It may have been in a hospital and it may have been over all too fast, I swear it must have been the best day I can ever remember having.

About twenty minutes before the end of visiting hours, Roderich arrived. He strode into the room and stood beside the bed. "Good evening, Elizaveta."

"Hi Roddy," I say, the words slipping out before I can even censor them. I don't let it show on my face, but inside I smile. I've been spending too much time with Gilbert. Actually, I could never have enough time with Gilbert. But his habits are rubbing off on me all the same.

Roderich frowns, but does not comment on the nickname. "How are you today?"

"Great. I got to meet Annie today."

Roderich's brow furrows in confusion for a moment before he says "Oh, yes, the child. Well good for you."

"You sound so excited."

"Was it something I was supposed to be enthused about? I am sorry, I was not aware. I have other things on my mind. I am supposed to leave for Vienna in a week."

"Right," I say. "Vienna. Awesome."

"Since your daughter will not yet be out of the hospital's care in this time, I have arranged so that you and she shall remain here for an extra month. In a month's time, I shall send for the both of you and we can settle in Vienna."

"Yeah, sure." My heart is not in it. How am I supposed to go to Vienna with Roderich?

"Roderich, do you even want me to move to Vienna with you?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Do you want me to move to Vienna with you?" I say again, emphasizing my enunciation. "Would you rather go alone?"

"It is not about what I want, Elizaveta. I must ensure that my wife and child are cared for. I have already arranged for Emma to keep Feliciano. What am I supposed to do? Leave you and the child here?" Roderich almost looked like he liked that idea, but he didn't say so. "I hardly think it appropriate."

"What if I said that I don't want to move to Austria? What if I want to stay here. I grew up here, you know. It's my home."

"I was under the impression that sacrifices must be made in marriage. Heaven knows I have made many sacrifices for you, Elizaveta."

I scoff. He raises an eyebrow at me. "You don't believe me?"

"I believe you, I'm just wondering why."

"Because you are my wife."

"Why?"

"Elizaveta, do not act like a child. If I wanted to have a childish discussion, I would go back to Emma's house and speak to Feliciano."

"Why are you so damn condescending, Roderich?" I ask. My hands are balled into fists as they lay at my sides. I let my head drop back against the pillows and squeeze my eyes shut. I can't believe I'm doing this. I don't know what he'll even say. But I have no choice anymore. "I can't do this anymore, Roderich."

"What 'can't' you do?" Roderich sounds irritated.

"Be married to you," I snap, my eyes coming back open to find his. "I am sick and tired of being treated like nothing. I know you don't love me. I know you don't even _like_ me most of the time. I think it's great that you found a new job, Roderich, but I can't pack up my whole life and move to Austria. I _won't_."

Roderic's eyes narrow. "What are you saying, Elizaveta?"

"I want a divorce," I whisper. "I can't take this any more, Roderich. I want a divorce."

Roderich is quiet for a long moment. "You know we had an agreement for a reason, Elizaveta. If you leave me, you will have nothing."

"I don't care if you leave me with nothing except Annie," my voice comes more confident than before. "I can't be married to you anymore. Take everything. Move to Austria. You don't have to worry about me anymore. You don't have to worry about Annie. Take care of yourself, Roderich. It's what you've always wanted to do, anyway. You don't have a family to burden you anymore."

Roderich almost looks regretful. "Are you certain this is what you want, Elizaveta?"

I nod. "Yes. This is the most certain I've been about anything in my whole life."

Roderich considers this momentarily. "Very well, then. I shall contact a lawyer to draw up the papers. I will not bother you again. Take care of yourself, Elizaveta." He extends a hand toward me and I take it hesitantly. He raises it to his lips and kisses it quickly. "I wish you the best." A strange look passes through Roderich's eyes. "Tell Gilbert I concede. A gentleman knows when he has been beaten." With those parting words, Roderich turned and strode from the room.

A strange feeling settled in my chest. I highly doubt that I will ever be seeing Roderich again. I feel free, yet at the same time afraid. I do not doubt that Roderich will leave Annie and I with nothing. We will make it, though. I know this. I will make sure of it. I am free of Roderich Edelstein. And free to be myself at long last.

* * *

_When I wrap you up_  
_When I kiss your lips_  
_I wanna make you feel wanted_  
_And I wanna call you mine_  
_Wanna hold your hand forever_  
_Never let you forget it_  
_'Cause baby I wanna make you feel wanted_

_As good as you make me feel_  
_I wanna make you feel better_  
_Better than your fairy tales_  
_Better than your best dreams_  
_You're more than everything I need_  
_You're all I ever wanted_  
_All I ever wanted_

_And I just wanna wrap you up_  
_Wanna kiss your lips_  
_I wanna make you feel wanted_  
_And I wanna call you mine_  
_Wanna hold your hand forever_  
_Never let you forget it_  
_Yeah, I wanna make you feel wanted_  
_Yeah, baby I wanna make you feel -_  
_Wanted_

_~Wanted by Hunter Hayes_

* * *

Elizaveta's request did not surprise me. I was always well aware of the fact that she was unhappy. However, I knew that she believed she had no other options. Of course, if she wanted a comfortable lifestyle, such as I provided, there really were no other options, but regardless, I was never forcing her to be my wife. Her petition for divorce did not come as a surprise, and I did not argue it.

Partly due in fact to a surprise visit from one Gilbert Beilschmidt one hour ago.

The man was quite restrained from his normal self. Still, I made sure to keep my distance. My jaw still had a bit of a bruise on it.

Gilbert informed me that he was in love with Elizaveta. Nothing new there. But he didn't stop there.

"You can't just do this to her, Roddy. You can't keep treating her like some trophy on a shelf. She's a human person, with feelings and all that shit. You're killing her, Edelstein. Not physically, but emotionally. She's convinced that she's nothing. I don't know what the hell you and her are, but I know that the Lizzy I used to know would never say that. Lizzy had self-confidence, and now she's just afraid. Real men don't make women feel inferior."

"That is hardly my fault," I began, but I got no further.

"It is your fault," he interrupted. "It's your fault for not treating her the way that she is supposed to be treated. With care, with love, with respect."

I suppose he did have a point there. "What do you suggest I do, Beilschmidt?"

"Let her go," he said simply. "Let someone who actually gives a rip take care of her, and let her be happy for once. Do what's right for her."

It is strange. All my life I've considered Gilbert Beilschmidt my biggest rival. Yet in this one moment, I did not look for an opportunity to look down at him, sneer at him, or make my comeuppance. I saw his desperate plea, and the sheer seriousness of his words, and took them at face value. I suppose it does no harm to admit that I may not have treated Elizaveta as she would have desired. I did not love her, so I did not show her anything that would be classed in the societal norms of romance. I did do my best to keep her well. I showered her with gifts. But to a soul like Elizaveta, I suppose her true happiness can only be found in love. Which I cannot give her. While I still think it is superfluous, some people's beliefs cannot be swayed.

If love is what she wants, then love she may have. Not from me. Beilschmidt seems like a willing enough candidate. While it is difficult for me to let my oldest rival have his way, I can do so. A true gentleman knows when to throw in the towel, so to speak.

* * *

_**In case you were confused, the Hunter Hayes lyrics are there because Lizzy's finally got someone who wants her. Gilbert. In case you didn't catch it. I didn't do the greatest job of tying that together.  
**_

_**I'm updating now because I'm still determined to finish this before I start school on Monday. We'll see if I get there. I'm doing pretty good right now. This is the third update in the last four hours. So. I obviously have absolutely no life, as well as a day off of work, and the entire house to myself. Yeah, another weird thing about me. Most kids throw a party if they get the house to themselves. I sit in my bedroom in a pair of shorts and a sweatshirt and write all day.  
**_

_**-Jack  
**_


	23. Chapter Twenty-Two: In The Morning

"_Hello?_"

"Emma, I'm freaking out."

A soft chuckle sounded over the line. "_Is that you, Liza?_"

"Yes, hi. Emma, I don't know what to _do_," I moaned. "I think I screwed up royally."

The time of two days had shed new fears on my new predicament. Roderich's lawyer was uncharacteristically efficient, and I had been served with divorce papers this morning. According to the guy they sent, Roderich was selling the house as soon as possible. All my belongings were being moved to a storage garage on the other end of town. Really though, it probably meant a box full of clothes, because I didn't have much to call my own. Roderich had left me a little more than I had anticipated. Enough money to get through at least a couple months. I'd be needing a job as soon as possible. And a place to live.

"_Liza, calm down,_" Emma said. She was the only person who knew that I had called it off with Roderich so far. "_You didn't screw up, you're just scared. Believe me, sweetie, you're way better off without that douchebag._"

"But I don't know how to do this, Emma," I lamented. "I don't know _what_ to do."

"_I'll tell you what you're going to do, Liza. You're going to get out of the hospital in the morning; you are going to come here and you are going to stay here for as long as you need to; you are going to bring home your baby girl in a couple of weeks, and the two of you are going to live happily ever after without Roderich._"

"I don't know how to be a single mother, Emma."

"_You were doing okay with Feli._"

"That's different."

"_How? What, Roderich helped you out with Feliciano? I don't think so. Honey, you've been on your own for a long time. All Roderich ever did for you was finance your independence._"

I sigh. "Maybe you're right..."

"_Maybe? Liza, you are the strongest, most courageous person I know. You don't need Roderich. You never needed him._"

Not completely true, but it does make me feel a little better. "That doesn't mean I'm not scared. This feels way too big for me."

"_Even the bravest people get scared. But facing your fears, and coming out on top... that's the mark of true courage." Emma's voice was sympathetic, but it gave me a little more confidence. Maybe if she believed in me this much, I could do it. Maybe Annie and I will get through this. "Now go to sleep, Liza. And I'll see you in the morning, nine sharp._"

"Okay. Good night, Emma."

"_More like good morning,"_ Emma said with a laugh._ "But good night, friend._"

* * *

Morning took forever to come around. Eight o'clock found me with Annie in my arms. I'd been there quite a while. Sleep wasn't in the cards for me last night. A soft tap on the door brought me out of my thoughts. "Knock knock."

I look up and a smile found its way to the surface. "Gilbert."

Gil smiles at me and shoves his hands in his pockets. "I haven't been able to visit the last couple days, so I thought I'd stop in quick before work." He gives me a lopsided grin. "I kinda missed the kid. Go figure. She's, like, a week old and I'm already attached."

I laugh softly. "Come on over. I think she missed you, too."

Gilbert comes closer and stands in front of my chair. When he leans down, my breath catches in my chest. Last time I saw him, he got this close, too. "Hey Annie," he whispers. "Don't worry, I promise you and I are gonna finish our story real soon. I know you want to know what happens to Bilbo. I'll tell you now though... Bilbo's pretty tough. Even though it seems way too big for him, he'll get through it all right. And he'll even be better for it. Everything turns out okay in the end." Somewhere during this, Gilbert's gaze came up to meet mine. I feel completely transparent.

"How did you know?" I whisper.

He shakes his head and a smirk plays at the corners of his mouth. "I've read _The Hobbit_ before, Liz." One red eye disappears as he winks at me. "Bilbo's a pretty brave kid, but even the bravest of the brave get scared. And that's okay, because he's got other people in his corner to back up him."

"Have you been trading notes with Emma?" I ask quietly, for lack of any other response.

Gilbert shakes his head. "But Em's a pretty smart chick. And she knows you." Gilbert stands up straight and lifts one hand to scratch the back of his neck. "I heard Roddy left for Austria."

I nod.

"I hear you're not going with him."

"Where'd you hear that?"

"Toni. Said he was helping Lovi clean out the guest room in Jan's house last night. Said _you_ were moving in for a while."

I nod slowly. "Yeah. I told Roderich I wanted a divorce. He was accommodating enough."

Gilbert's eyes widen slightly. "Are you serious?"

Again, I nod. "Very. And very terrified."

Suddenly Gilbert is pulling Annie out of my arms. "Gilbert, what-" I begin as he lays her in her crib, but am cut off by his lips against mine.

Whatever worries were in my mind suddenly melt away at the touch of his warm, chapped lips. When he pulls his mouth away from mine, he brings it to my ear. "Don't be scared, Liz. You're a thousand times better off without him."

"But even the bravest of the brave get scared, right?"

I feel Gilbert smile against my cheek. "Yeah, but there's one thing you've got that Bilbo didn't have. You've got me."

"Bilbo had Gandalf."

"I'm better than Gandalf, babe."

I have to smile. "Yeah, maybe."

"Lizzy?"

"Yes Gilbert?"

"Can I see you tonight?"

"What are you asking for?"

Gilbert pulls back and smirks at me. "A date."

"I mean, you _have_ to ask?" I grab him by the back of the neck and pull him back down to me. "Of course you can see me tonight, Gilbert. Any time, any place."

"So, tonight, my bed?"

"Don't push it, Gil. My divorce isn't even final."

He laughs. "Got it. So, dinner tonight?"

"That I can do."

His lips brush mine in another kiss. "I'll see you tonight then. Seven."

"I look forward to it."

Gilbert gives me a smile, blows a kiss toward Annie, then heads for the door. How the next hour passes, I have no idea, but suddenly Emma has arrived to pick me up, and I am discharged from the hospital and on my way.

I really do look forward to tonight.

* * *

_**UGGGHHH. This chapter is WAY overdue for it's length and corniness. I am so unhappy. I'm just going to be a diva about this whole thing. *strikes diva pose***_

_**Anyway, this story will have one more chapter, and probably an epilogue. Because I heart epilogues. *draws heart shape with his fingers***_

_**So yeah. That's that. I'm working on the rest now, so hopefully the wait won't be so long for the rest.**_

_**-Jack**_


	24. Chapter Twenty-Three: An Engagement

I shouldn't have been worried, because we're doing just fine. It has been one month to the day that I asked Roderich for a divorce. Today, I have to meet with the judge to see how long before the action may be finalized. I hope it isn't too much longer, though it doesn't _really _matter. I haven't considered myself to be married for the last month. The signatures on paper only make it legal.

Gilbert, Feliciano, Emma, Jan, Toni, and Lovino, all sit in Emma's family room, cooing over my daughter. Toni has an arm looped around Lovino and a grin on his face. It is nothing to rival Gilbert's, though. He has the widest smile stretched across his face as he tries to coax a smile out of Annie. She just started smiling for him yesterday. He can't get enough of it. When he tickles her feet, she gives him the awaited smile, and the crowd on the couch lets out an "awwwwwww" in unison. Well, except for Jan and Lovino, but Lovino's trying his hardest not to smile with Toni in such close proximity, and Jan needs a personality transplant.

"All right, I'm leaving," I tell the room at large, adjusting my jacket and making sure it is wrinkle free. "Her bottle is in the fridge, and there are diapers in the basket in my room. Feli, if you feed her, make sure you burp her, okay?"

"Chill, Ma," Gil grins at me. "We got this. Go to your meeting, Annie will be alive and well when you return. And she'll be grinning at her Mutti." Gilbert sends me a wink and I roll my eyes. Gilbert turns Annie so she is facing me and waves one of her arms up and down. "Say 'auf weidersein, Mutti.'"

I can't help myself from smiling at them. "I'll see you later."

A chorus of goodbyes meets my back as I head outside. I'm hoping beyond hope that this meeting with the judge goes well.

* * *

At the courthouse, I smooth my slacks and remind myself to breathe. My minds races in a hundred different directions as I contemplate everything from possible outcomes of my meeting, to whether or not I need to pick up baby wipes on my way home. I'm so lost in thought that I don't even notice him until he is standing right in front of me. I blink in surprise. "Roderich."

He nods formally. "Elizaveta. You look well."

"I am," I say, regarding him with just the slightest touch of suspicion. I really hadn't expected him to be here. "And you?"

"Oh, I am quite well, thank you. I flew in because I want to get this over as quickly and tidily as possible."

"Oh," is all I can think to respond with.

A few moments of silence pass between Roderich and I. Everything suddenly seems stilted and formal. A door opens down the hall and a man with thick blonde hair and thicker eyebrows suit comes out and shakes first Roderich's hand, then mine. "Mr. and Mrs. Edelstein, I presume." Neither Roderich nor I bother to correct him. I never took Roderich's name, and I am very glad of that. "I am Judge Kirkland. Come, let's conduct our meeting in my office."

Roderich bows slightly and motions for me to follow after the judge. In a matter of moments, we are all three situated around a mahogany desk. Judge Kirkland flips through a few papers in a pile situated on his desk. "I was reading over your petition, and everything looks to be in order. Have you both read the document?"

"Yes," Roderich and I answer in unison. I only read it about twelve times to make sure I understood.

"And Ms. Hedervary is to keep your daughter on her own?"

"That is correct."

"Will Mr. Edelstein have visitation rights?"

"He will," I say. _He won't make use of them, but he'll have them._

The judge smiles slightly. "Very well then. Sign on the dotted line." Judge Kirkland hands me a pen and I sign my name with a flourish. Elizaveta Hedervary. Then I pass the pen to Roderich and watch as he does the same. Then the judge signs his own name, making the document official. "And there you are. I now pronounce you divorced. No need to kiss the lady."

It's done. I take a deep breath and exhale. Roderich and I shake hands with the judge once again and exit his chambers. Outside, on the steps of the courtyard, Roderich turns toward me. "Elizaveta. I hope you don't harbor any ill feelings towards me." He glances to the ground, staring at his well-polished leather shoes. "I would very much like to meet... _Annie_... someday. If that is all right with you."

"It's fine with me, Roderich," I say quietly. "You are her father, and I won't tell her otherwise."

Roderich looks back at me. "Well then. I suppose this is goodbye." He extends his hand to me. "Farewell, Elizaveta."

"Goodbye, Roderich," I say, shaking his hand firmly.

And with those words, we part ways. I never once look back.

* * *

"Lizzy, I've got a surprise for you."

The voice in my ear makes me smile. I twist my head around to look at Gilbert, standing behind my chair, looking mischievous. "Oh yeah?"

"Ja, I do." He wriggles his white eyebrows at me. "I got the babysitter and everything. Toni works really cheap if you say he'll be working with Lovino."

I roll my eyes. "You're leaving my baby with the two of them?"

"They're fine, Liz. I told them I'll fucking kill them if they so much as take their eyes off her."

Gilbert's threat is so perfectly Gilbert that I just have to laugh. He sounds like an overprotective father, which is really what he has become to Annie this past month, especially in the two weeks since she has come home. I really do trust Toni and Lovino, even without the threat. They've babysat for me a couple of times before. Whatever Gilbert has planned for the two of us tonight, I'm excited. "Good," I tell him, brushing a kiss across his lips.

"So be ready to go in one hour. Wear something fancy. We're going to celebrate your divorce."

I smile as Gilbert takes Annie from my arms. It sounds strange, to celebrate such a thing as a divorce, but really... For me and Gilbert, it is something to celebrate.

An hour later, I turn and face the mirror. Emma stands behind me smiling. "Liza, you look amazing."

"Thanks for lending me your dress, Em," I tell her, smoothing the black fabric of the dress. I'm not really that good with fashion choices, but I know that the outfit Emma picked looks good on me.

"Well, I'm jealous. You just had a kid a month ago and you _still _look better in that dress than I do." Emma doesn't look too mad about it. "Gilbert won't know what hit him."

I laugh. "I've had that effect on him before."

Emma laughs and grabs me by the shoulders, propelling me towards the door. "Go get him, Liz."

I descend the steps into the living room and find Gilbert with Lovino and Toni. The three of them are all focused on Annie. I smile and wait at the bottom of the stairs, watching them.

Toni notices first. He looks up, and his eyebrows go sky high as he grins and begins to nudge Gilbert's arm with his elbow. Lovino catches on next. He looks at Gilbert, rolls his eyes, and smacks him on the back of the head. "OW! What the fuck, Vargas?"

"Your girlfriend, idiot," he says, using his head to motion towards me, since one hand has just been captured by Annie's tiny grip and his other is cradling the baby to his chest.

Gilbert's eyes land on me and he immediately smirks. "Mein gott, Liz, you look awesome."

"Thank you," I tell him, pushing myself off the banister and walking toward him. "You don't look so bad yourself."

Gilbert saunters toward me and gives me a kiss on the lips. He's wearing a suit, with a black tie hanging loose around his neck. "I know, but I think out of the two of us, you look a little more awesome tonight."

"Well that's a pretty big honor coming from you."

Gilbert grins. "Don't get too used to it. I'm too awesome for this sappy shit. Let's go."

* * *

After dinner and a movie, Gilbert takes me for a walk. He wraps an arm around me and pulls me to his side. "So. You're single again."

"Yup."

"Ever gonna get married again after that fiasco?"

"Maybe."

"Maybe?"

"It depends on who is asking."

"What if it was me?"

I look up at him and smile. "Then I would say yes."

* * *

"Hey Lovi?"

"What, bastard?" I mutter absently, trying to keep my focus on the half-asleep baby in my arms.

"I know your birthday was last week-"

"Yeah, and you only wished me a happy birthday a fucktillion times."

Toni smiles. "I know. And I'll do it again. Feliz cumpleaños , Lovinito."

"A fucktillion and one..." I say, as if keeping count. Actually, he wished me happy birthday seventeen times. This one makes eighteen.

"That was only eighteen, Lovi." He was counting too. Damn.

"Yeah, fine. Maybe it was only eighteen."

"One for every year old you are."

I roll my eyes and shake my head, trying not to smile. God, he is so amazing.

"I have a present for you, anyway."

I furrow my brows. "What? You already gave me a t-shirt covered in tomatoes."

"Si, pero I found something better."

I stand up and leave the room, excusing myself to put Annie to bed. I would have been content to hold her while she slept, but I can't stay in that room with Toni right now. Dammit, I spend too much more time with him and I'll never be able to keep this up. I already can't keep it up. He knows how I feel. He knows, and dammit, he feels the same way. I don't know whether to be ecstatic or terrified.

"Lovi, don't leave."

My head comes up and finds Toni in the doorway. "Not like I wasn't coming back, Toni," I mutter. "You didn't have to follow me."

"I want to give you your present, Lovinito."

I sigh and squeeze past Toni, pulling the door shut behind me. "Fine. What is it?"

Toni gives me a cheerful grin and pulls a little velvet clamshell box out of his pocket. It is shaped like a tomato. I roll my eyes. "I'm not a girl, Toni, I don't need a jewelry box."

"I know you're not a girl, Lovino," Toni says, almost gravely. "You're a man."

My heart jumps into my throat for some stupid reason. My eyes land on the carpet near the wall, well away from Toni's piercing green gaze and that stupidly adorable tomato in his hand. "But Lovi... the box isn't your present."

That grabs my attention. My gaze comes back and meets his. "What?"

Toni gives me a smile, which is well toned down from his perpetual grin, but still radiating happiness. "Well, I guess this present is really more for me than for you. Which is why I didn't give it to you on your birthday. This present, if you will accept it, is definitely for me."

"I am so confused, what the hell are you talking about?"

Toni looks down and opens the hinged box. He pulls out a perfect circle of gold. "I want you to marry me, Lovino. I love you so much, mi tomate. And I... I know that you are really focused on trying to take care of your brother now that you're of age, and I don't know if this is what you want, but... I want to help, because I love you so much, and I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy, and-"

He's rambling again. He does this when he gets nervous. At least it isn't in Spanish. Once I get over the initial shell-shock of being presented with an engagement ring, I figure I should probably do something to get him to stop talking. "Antonio, stop."

Toni freezes.

"Yes."

Green eyes go wide and stare at me. "Yes?"

I nod, and can't help myself from smiling. Dammit. I've gone soft. But it's okay, because Toni loves me. "Yeah, I'll marry you."

I find myself being wrapped in a bone-crushing hug. "Ay dios mio, Lovino. Te quiero. Te quiero tanto."

"Toni... can't... breathe."

Toni releases me instantly and puts his hands on my upper arms. "Are you serious, Lovi? You'll really marry me?"

I scoff. "Why would I say yes if I didn't mean it?" Antonio still looks a little concerned that I'm just yanking his chain, so I roll my eyes and pull him close for a kiss. And oh dio mio... I know I've made the right decision.

* * *

_**Sooooooooooooooo. Yeah. The REVISED end. ALMOST. There will be an epilogue, because I just LOVE epilogues.  
**_

_**But essentially, that is the end.  
**_

_**IT IS FINISHED. That took way longer than I ever intended. *goes to sob in a corner* And I had to revise this chapter because I got pissed off. I'm actually a lot happier with it now. I hope you are, too.  
**_

_**ALSO, I feel I must make something clear. I have nothing against Austria. He's awesome. He's kind of odd, but he's cool. I really don't have any secret grudges against Austria. I don't hate Austria. I don't ship AusHun, but I don't hate Austria. I needed a bad guy, and he seemed like the prick for the job. If I caused you any offense, Austria or Austria fans, I do apologize.  
**_

_****__**Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this ride. I sure did. From beginning to end, it didn't come out like I planned, but hey. That's what you get for taking a journey with Jackson. I'm glad you guys stuck around as long as you did. You... you are still here... aren't you? *crickets chirping***_

_**-Jack**_


	25. Epilogue: Happy Ever After

_**As fair warning, this epilogue skips through time a lot. Every line break indicates passage of time. And since line breaks don't always work (like on the app) I will use asterisks as line breaks instead for this chapter. That way, if the line breaks don't work, you aren't hopelessly confused.**_

* * *

"Liz, can I ask you for a favor?" I hear Gilbert's voice behind me as I stand in the kitchen of my apartment.

"Sure."

"Marry me?"

I spin on my heel and lift one eyebrow at Gilbert – a dishtowel in one hand, a baby bottle in the other. My boyfriend is kneeling on the floor, presenting me with a diamond ring. "Wow, way to be romantic, Gilly."

One of those grins that I just can't resist steals it's way onto Gil's face. "So, can you do it, or not."

"I _can_," I tell him bluntly. "You should be asking me if I will."

"What are you, my English teacher?"

I shrug, doing everything in my power not to smile just yet. Gilbert is an odd one, but I have been expecting this question. I've been waiting for it for months. I'm so glad he finally asked.

"Fine then." Gilbert stands up, pulls the towel and the bottle out of my hands and places them on the counter, then takes my hands in both of his. "Lizzy, will you marry me?"

Now I smile. "Of course I will, Gilbert." And we seal the deal with a kiss.

* * *

"Liz. Liz, just stay calm."

"I am calm," I grit out through my teeth. "I'm just in a serious amount of pain, Gilbert."

"Just breathe. It's gonna be okay. You've done this before, right?"

"I wasn't conscious the first time," I remind him. I let out a hissing breath through my teeth and try to resist the urge to swear. Gilbert is doing enough of that for the both of us, in some strange mixture of English, German, and what I _think_ is Dutch. Not that I really care at the moment, since I am currently in labor.

"Gilbert, would you please not freak out?"

"Liz, you and hospitals don't have a good history together." Gilbert looks almost frantic. "Can you cut me some slack?"

"Cut you some slack? Which one of us is about to have a baby?"

"Excusez-moi, Gilbert, but I think it might be more helpful to your wife if you just held her hand and kept the arguing to a minimum?"

"Can it, Frenchie," Gilbert snarls at the doctor.

"Mrs. Beilshmidt, are you ready?"

"Let's get this over with!"

* * *

Gilbert lays on the floor, laughing with our children. Two-year-old James sits on his chest, while five-year-old Annie lays on her stomach, playing with Gil's hair, her feet poking up into the air behind her. Six month old Maddie is sprawled across her pink blanket, shaking a rattle furiously and giggling to beat the band.

At random intervals, Gilbert suddenly bounces James into the air, sending the boy into his own fit of giggles. Annie chatters at Gilbert in rapid German, something I've yet to get used to. I know James will be next, followed by Maddie, and I'll be stuck having to learn it or be left out.

I love watching Gilbert with our kids.

* * *

"Maddie has dance practice and James has soccer. Toni said that he will bring James home from soccer if you can pick Venia up on the way there. There is a casserole in the fridge, I left directions on the stove and... oh, damn, I forgot to pick up my dry cleaning, I'll have to get it on the way back..."

"Liz, chill." Gilbert smiles at me as he grips my shoulders. "It's okay. I got this. You got this. Annie has most definitely got this."

I take a deep breath and let it out. "I can't believe I let him talk me into this."

"I can't either, but it's done now. She has her heart set on going, she has to go. If she hates it, if _he_ hates it, she'll never go again."

"I know, but... a week is a long time. What if he forgets about her while she's there, what if she doesn't-"

"Liz, it's gonna be okay." Gilbert presses a kiss to my forehead. "Roddy has missed fifteen years of her life, and he wants to meet his daughter. It's as simple as that."

I give Gilbert a wary look. "You're taking this surprisingly well. You hate Roderich."

"Yeah, well..." Gilbert shrugs. "Maybe I'm going soft. I figure... if Annie can love her dad after fifteen years of practical silence... then maybe I can be chill about her spending a week with him in Vienna."

I smile and pinch Gilbert's cheek. "When did you take your grown-up pills?"

"Shut up and take your kid to the airport already."

"Fine. Don't forget to pick up Venia!"

"I won't! Lovino will have my head if I forget her..."

* * *

"It's just Veenie. She's been my best friend since I was, like, three. She's not even a real girl."

"James, don't ever tell that to Venia."

"Shut up, Annie, you're not helping!"

"Seriously, though, James... Don't tell a girl that she's not a girl."

"Duh, Maddie. I'm not stupid. Venia would kick my ass."

"James, language."

"Your father didn't think I was a girl until well into high school."

"Alles lugen. I knew quite well that you were a girl, Lizzy, I just let you act like one of the boys so you wouldn't get mad."

"Uh-huh. Suuuuuuuure."

"James, do you like Veenie?"

"M-maybe... I dunno..."

"Then you should tell her. Don't let her dad scare you away. He's actually not that bad. He just likes to yell."

"And then there's Toni, who asked me when they adopted Venia if she could marry my son when they grew up."

"Dad! Are you serious?!"

"Yes. I don't know if Toni was, but he actually asked that."

"Oh mein gott."

"James, language."

"Mutti, you don't even sprechen Deutsch."

"I have lived in this house with the four of you for the last seventeen years. I think I have all the inappropriate German words memorized."

"Really? Do you know what geschlechtsverkehr means, Lizzy?"

"Gilbert!"

"Oh, Liz, your face right now... Kesesesese!"

* * *

I study my family under the bright summer sunshine. They are my world and my everything. Gilbert is Gilbert, same as he's always been. It doesn't matter that he technically, legally hasn't been a kid for well over twenty years; he's still acting like he did when we were eight, and proclaiming his awesomeness loudly and frequently.

Annie is her father's daughter. Long, straight hair the same color as her father's. She looks remarkably like Roderich, except for the green eyes which so obviously came from me. But that isn't what I meant when I said she is her father's daughter. No, she is Gilbert in feminine form. She has the confidence and charm of the daddy she adores, plus grace and a thousand-watt smile that has all the boys swooning over her. Gilbert has been fielding rabid boys for well over two years now. He doesn't want to see her grow up.

James is his father's clone with green eyes. In every way, shape, and form, he is the picture of Gilbert when Gilbert was sixteen. He and Gilbert share the same dna, for sure. With that shock of white hair, his loud, contagious laugh, and his larger-than-life personality and charm, there is no doubt in anyone's mind that James is one of Gilbert's.

Maddie is my baby. With the apparently hereditary green eyes and a head of blonde hair, she is definitely not like her older siblings. Quiet and reserved and always smiling, she tends to stay closer to home than the social butterflies we call James and Annie. Gilbert tells her often to stay thirteen forever, but we all know it won't last. It didn't last with Annie, it didn't last with James. Maddie is growing up just like they did, and Gilbert and I are helpless to stop it.

These four people are my world. I don't know where in the world I would be without them. I probably would have given up a long time ago.

Looking back on my life, the string of events that led to this point, it still doesn't all make sense. I don't know that I had to go through all the horrible things to get the blessings I have now, but maybe I did. And if this is the reward for enduring all those years of depression and despair, then I am okay with it. Because this life I have now makes the old one worthwhile. Now, it's time for my happy ever after.

* * *

_**OMG IT'S DONE!**_

_**And there you have it. I have nothing more to say here.**_

_**-Jack**_


End file.
